The University of Vermont's Independent Voice Since 1883

The Vermont Cynic

The University of Vermont's Independent Voice Since 1883

The Vermont Cynic

The University of Vermont's Independent Voice Since 1883

The Vermont Cynic

Spice up the bedroom; college edition

Mating is not easy!

 There are certain unspoken guidelines that our age group follows in order to impress the object of their desire, and eventually get them in the sack.

   Especially if you are on a college-sized budget and can’t necessarily get away with five star dinners and fancy dates.

I asked my fellow UVM students and friends for their advice on ways to spice up the bedroom without blowing through their entire tuition.

“I covered my whole wall with my favorite skiing posters. It looks awesome! And a great conversation starter,” sophomore Hayley Aydelott said.

“You should definitely go to Recycle North to spruce up your room,” senior Owen Wexman said.            “I got cheap Christmas lights for my room and also a mirror for above my bed.”

There are many ways to spice up the bedroom both under and over the sheets.

“Surprise your date with sushi spread out on your naked body and make them eat it off of you,” junior Ellery Garland said. “But hide a few pieces for yourself for later.”

“Definitely need some baby making music. Nobody can say no with baby making music on,” sophomore Luke Pessinis said.

If you want to make the night memorable, simply be creative, junior Jeremy Goldberg said. Nothing shows more confidence than completely putting yourself out there.

“Show up naked holding a bunch of jalape?±os. She’ll understand,” he said.

 If this under the sheet advice doesn’t work, there are other ways the bedroom can get hot.

We may all not admit it, but we are all guilty of it. When that magical moment comes-getting back to your room, fumbling for your dorm key, turning on the lights hoping your roommate is gone to have a moment to yourself.

Just make sure for your roommates sake that you clean the evidence of your jerk session. 

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Spice up the bedroom; college edition