The Love EP’ is not sure to get you any more lovin’

On Feb. 8, in preparation for Valentine’s Day’s imminent approach, Atlantic/Elektra records will be releasing a five-song digital download called “The Love EP.”  While the release boasts tracks from current R&B aristocracy such as Bruno Mars and Cee Lo Green, none of the featured songs are exclusive to the compilation. Pretty much what Atlantic/Elektra is offering you, for the “special price of $3.99,” is their half-assed, inter-office Valentine’s Day playlist.  In all honesty, I could have put this thing together, including its shoddy cover art, in a matter of minutes. What “The Love EP” does somehow manage to achieve, within the constraints of just five songs, is an exhibition of exaggerated sentimentality and unreserved sexuality, two key elements of a textbook Valentine’s Day.  While these two essentials are present, chemistry and consistency are nowhere to be found.  The five songs flip-flop around and leave the listener unsure as to whether they should be listening to the compilation by candlelight with a significant other or alone with a bottle of whiskey. That being said, few genres can claim to tackle the “love song” as well as R&B — country, maybe — and if I were moved to make a Valentine’s playlist for someone this year, it would surely be soaked in it. I am aware that Atlantic/Elektra are trying to expose and promote their artists, however, the cost of that mission is that some poor soul is going to download this thing, give it to someone that he or she is truly interested in, and then never hear from them again.  So, in the spirit of the “holiday,” here is some sound advice from a guy who came of age making mixtapes for the girls he could never find the courage to actually talk to in the hallways: Compile your own “Love EP” to present to that potential Valentine … and make sure it bumps, grinds and testifies!