Rather than our usual “Culture Staff Recommends”, this week the Culture Section brings you our hottest takes. From fashion to food to music, our writers held nothing back. So pick up some sardines, make sure your eggs are over-hard, find some new sneaks and give SiR a listen.
When did your dad’s pure, ivory white New Balances stop being a meme and start becoming a trend?
The classic chunky Fila shoes have been the holy grail for many acclaimed Instagram models and top of the line VSCO photographers for a few months now but their razor-sharp pattern and cutting-edge trend seem to have gone dull.
With the impossibility of keeping them clean as well as the outrageous prices ranging from $60-$100, these new generation clown shoes can make even the smallest of feet look like a size 15.
Time to turn off the Billie Eilish, put on your big girl mom jeans and find some new staple stompers.
Sardines are a great food for college students
People really don’t like it when I crack open a fresh tin of sardines. All people say is, “Ew, Cyrus, those are nasty,” or “Man, you said on our housing contract you wouldn’t do this again,” when they should be saying, “Wow, look at all those nutrients you’re about to gobble up,” or “May I have one?”
Sardines are great food for college students. They’re cheap: you can get a tin at Hannaford for a dollar and change. They’re full of omega-3s, B12 vitamins, calcium and protein. And most importantly, they taste good. Most people I ask about their disdain for sardines haven’t even tried them in their adult life.
Sardines only eat plankton, making them very low on the food chain. This not only means they have lower levels of heavy metals, but eating them has a lower environmental impact than other fish.
So please UVM, give the salmon’s smaller friend a chance. If you like good food, a healthy lifestyle and environmentally conscious eating, buy a tin or two of sardines.
Runny Egg Yolks
Eggs are not meant to be eaten with runny yolks. Would you eat a slab of raw meat? Chances are, you probably wouldn’t. Then why would you eat the yolk of a chicken egg in practically the exact form it was in its shell in the wild — a slimy, dribbling, gag-inducing, uncooked, unfertilized mess of liquid fats?
The fact of the matter is, one should never ingest a yolk that has not yet been scrambled or popped and hardened over the head of the stovetop. It is simply not becoming. Nor is it enjoyable.
Trap music is a dying genre
For better or worse trap is on its way out. With artists like Tyler the Creator and Brockhampton gaining popularity, the Migos and Kodak Black are falling behind. With this year’s XXL magazine’s Freshman list, the shift in style should be obvious to anyone paying attention. Artists like Rico Nasty and Tierra Whack are pushing the forefront of what people consider to be the mainstream of hip-hop.
Even artists like YBN Cordae are moving towards a new sound rather than the same old drab that is trap music. Music has to evolve for it to stay contemporary not by denying its past, but to build upon its ideas for the future. If trap music doesn’t evolve with hip-hop, it will fall behind.
While We Wait for Frank Ocean, We Have SiR
Three years and 28 days later, and Frank Ocean has yet to release a full album. But really, who’s counting? Although it is easy to long for a fresh set of sweet, psychedelic R&B ballads, we can’t sleep on the artists that are running the game in Ocean’s absence.
Upcoming artist SiR, blends R&B and soul to create smooth, rhythmic sounds that ignite the senses. And, to our luck, SiR just dropped a new album this past August, titled “Chasing Summer.” The album features big names like Kendrick Lamar and Lil Wayne, but owes its greatness to its creator.
Unlike so many other albums I’ve loved, I cannot find a single song on this album that I wouldn’t repetitively play until I hated it. Even then, I would still probably bop to each song six months from now.
So, if you’re looking for a way to fill your Frank Ocean void, give “Chasing Summer” a listen and see if the blissful sounds of SiR can distract you from your yearning.
While putting a gooey, $1 sheet mask from CVS on your face feels like the pinnacle of self-care, the results are nearly always anticlimactic. The expectation is that after 15 minutes of sporting an embarrassingly ghostly white face, peeling off the thin mask will reveal fresh, glowing skin.
Unfortunately, this almost never happens. Chances are you look exactly the same. If rubbing sticky moisturizer of ambiguous content on your face helps you to relax on a weekday evening then go for it.
As much as it hurts to admit, you probably have to invest in your skin care if you want results. Personally, I think you should save your $1 and drink some water.