Capone and Noreaga Upset Miles Davis in Brizzi’s ‘Album of the Century’ Awards

In a recent survey taken in New York City, Capone and Noreaga’s The War Report was judged the best album of this past century. Songs such as TONY(Top Of New York), Bloody Money, Halfway Thugs, and Parole Violators made this album stand above all others, in all categories.

Original estimates for what would be judged the best album of the century included Miles Davis’ Kind of Blue, Nas’ Illmatic, Michael Jackson’s Thriller or any Hewie Lewis and the News album. Once again industry analysts have been dead wrong about what’s really hot on these streets.

Although undoubtedly one of the most prolific and genius hip-hop albums of all time, it came as quite a shock to the industry to find that CNN will now be entered into the musical canon, in league with the masters of classical, jazz, and contemporary Christian rock.

Capone, the recently freed half of Capone and Noreaga, released this statement: “Yeah, we all known we been hot for all these years. All my dogs in Iraq, Queens, Kuwait, Beirut, Harlem uptown, and the Bronx been reppin’ CNN for some time, you know what I’m sayin’? We ain’t playing with this rap s*** dog, we keepin’ it real in these streets! Mozart ain’t got s%$t on this pimpin’!”

When asked for his reaction to the news of CNN’s newfound respectability in the rap game, rap mogul Russell Simmons said that he wasn’t surprised in the slightest, as “these guys put in work, and they’re real thuggish. They don’t play.”

On the block, no one was truly shocked to find The War Report judged best album of the century. In New York, the home of Capone and Noreaga (although they refer to various middle eastern countries as their home, they are really just talking about different project housing complexes in Queens), many street blocks were filled with people cheering, bumping CNN from their apartments, and reciting various lines from their favorite CNN songs.

“I’ll put the bogie out in your face” Jamal Kirkland, 23, from queens yelled, affirming his love of Capone and Noreaga, and making sure that any bustas who didn’t want bogies put out in their faces stayed far away.

The only truly negative reaction to the news of CNN’s victory was from P. Diddy, deeply entrenched in his Bad Boy headquarters. “I feel like Biggie should have gotten the best album award, you know, or I should have, ’cause I had Biggie on my albums. Or what about Mase? He was that fire before he turned into a minister. I ain’t hatin’, you know, I just don’t see why these dudes deserve all this shine.”

Capone reacted to this statement with a classic CNN rebuttal, “I’m the next best thing to x, oral sex, food stamps and welfare checks.”