MPG offenders

I couldn’t be more bored of writing about hybrids.  You’re probably bored reading about the same thing.  Yet Priuses aren’t getting any faster. I get it — going on a poutine run to Canada every other night with six empty seats in my truck and the V8 in third gear the whole way is a waste of resources.But everybody knows it’s going to take a lot more than gas frugality to save our precious planet.So I thought, why not show the dark side some love?  I did some research and found the least efficient new cars on the road and I noticed something interesting.  They’re all awesome.And believe it or not, the list is not dominated by trucks, SUVs or George Bush’s golf cart.  Here’s a rundown of the worst fuel economy offenders that came out this year.First I checked out the least efficient compact car.  I thought that would be a nice piece of irony to exploit, but it turns out the EPA has given this to the 6.8 liter Bentley Brooklands.This baby stretches out to an imposing length of 213 inches that would make Jonah Falcon jealous and tips the scale at just shy of three tons.That’s probably part of the reason its 6.8 liter, eight-cylinder engine wheezes to make nine MPG at low speed.I’m not sure how this car got classified as “compact,” but for your reference the cars that won most efficient in this category included the Honda Civic, which could fit in the trunk of the Bentley as it is literally three feet shorter.A Japanese car caught my eye on the EPA’s short list.  Apparently the Infiniti EX35 is the least efficient small station wagon, although its 3.5 liter engine makes a fairly decent 16 MPG — at least in the eyes of a Land Rover owner.I had never heard of this car, but was disappointed when I found it as looks like the kid Katherine Heigl would have had with Seth Rogen — a few sexy curves thrown beneath a massive forehead and awkward haunches.The prize for the most offensive of all — the least efficient two-seater — goes to the Lamborghini Murcielago.  While this car can hardly carry more than two people and a Louis Vuitton bag, its 6.5 liter V12 burns premium petrol to the tune of eight MPG in the city.I know, admitting you love these cars is like admitting you liked “Don’t Mess With The Zohan,” but I just don’t care.  You’d take a Lamborghini over a Smart Car and you know it.