Paper Dolls

Everyone loves to dress up. This is a fact. Pretending to be someone else has been a favorite escapist pastime for centuries, but in these insecure times, isn’t masquerade and facade more important than ever?

The careers and lifestyle options that are “sham-friendly” include: -Spy -Actor -Witness Protection Program participant

-Undercover law enforcement agent -Bachelor party stripper (i.e., “the cop” or “the nurse”).

But let’s face it; we can’t all be secret agents or mafia informants. For your average Joe, opportunities for carefree deceit are few and far between. Halloween comes but once a year, and theme parties are often sadly not what they should be. (There is nothing worse than showing up to one of these supposed theme parties only to find yourself one of a small select handful that has deigned to go incognito. You tell yourself you are the cool ones, but let’s be real for a moment here: You’re not.)

Robert Kennedy often invoked George Bernard Shaw’s statement, “Some people see things as they are and ask ‘why?’ I dream of things that never were, and ask ‘why not?'”

In this spirit, I ask you to envision a world in which college students attend class disguised as swashbuckling pirates, businessmen moonlight as hippies and policemen issue citations while outfitted as sexy bunnies. I pose the question, “Why not change the name of our present “Monday” to “SuperFunThemeDay?”

Think about it. Monday, as is, has little going for it. Oh boy, another week of school/work/jury duty/whatever. SuperFunThemeDay, on the other hand, is something to look forward to all weekend.

Ever had your birthday fall on a Monday? Not too cool, right? Ever had your birthday fall on a SuperFunThemeDay? Now you’re catching on, aren’t you?

Perhaps with the implementation of SuperFunThemeDay, we would all learn a little bit about tolerance.

Can you really consider yourself sufficiently costumed on Cowboys and Indians Day if you haven’t done a little research into the receding frontier or the plague of alcoholism on the Native American people? This SuperFunThemeGirl thinks not.

Ask any actor: Playing a part does not just mean wearing the clothes. No, it means truly “becoming” the part. I’m not proposing we just talk the talk; I’m proposing we walk the walk. SuperFunThemeDay is not about perpetuating stereotypes, after all. We are looking to increase awareness, here.

Plus, SuperFunThemeDay teaches us to look past each other’s differences. Picture a dispute on Knights and Princesses Day. It wouldn’t get very far, now would it?

Someone would inevitably break up the disagreement with words to the effect of, “Yes, we may come from different backgrounds and religions. We may have conflicting political affiliations; we may be of different races.

“But let us stop looking at our differences. Instead, let us look at all of these aspiring Lancelots and Guiniveres. Look at how we have all come together to celebrate our common humanity with armor and cone-shaped headdresses.”

Still not convinced? Let’s look to a more pertinent issue. President Bush issued the 48-hour ultimatum that preceded the military campaign on Iraq on March 17, 2003. March 17 was, of course, a Monday. Bush addressed the nation, saying, “If Saddam Hussein attempts to cling to power, he will remain a deadly foe until the end.”

Now let us imagine how that would have gone if March 17 was a SuperFunThemeDay: Perhaps we would have heard, “If Saddam Hussein attempts to cling to power… he will… haha… uh… he will… hehe… I’m sorry, I really can’t do this… Saddam, from one French maid to another, this whole thing is pretty silly, huh?” Yes, the world would be quite a different place if we all just let loose and wore funny outfits.

Don’t just take my word for it, though. Give it a test drive. This Monday, take a look in your closet. What’s that, your old Catholic school uniform? Why not take it for a spin? And look at that boring sweatshirt. It could use some ripping, a la Flash Dance, couldn’t it? You know you want to.

Yes, you may get some strange looks in your homemade Space Man costume the first time, but comfort yourself with the knowledge that you are ahead of the times. The world may not be ready yet, but you, my friend, are a visionary.

And see if you don’t feel just a little better about that 20-page paper due Tuesday that you’ve left until now. Immersing yourself in make-belief might just make it seem a little more bearable. After all, what’s 20 pages to a Super Robot?

Until the rest of the world catches on, I’d like to see a letter-writing campaign to local and national leaders as well as to potential celebrity spokespersons, and perhaps some organized rallies and demonstrations.

I can’t recall a successful day of the week name-change as of yet, so this will not be any cakewalk. Our best bet is to teach by example. Suit yourself up, and others will “follow suit.”