Sex and the Cynic

As a follow up to my last article, it would only be appropriate to explore the other side of what can happen after that drunken night when you went home with someone: nothing.

Some of us have regretted it, and some of us have embraced it. But, sadly, a majority of us have not been able to handle it. Like the immaturity that characterizes so many college relationships, this same lack of decency carries over into the realm of one-night stands.

I admit that there are those who can have a wild night with someone, and remain cool and friendly at every junction afterwards. However, those rare gems are few and far between, and most of us cannot handle the repercussions of our drunk and horny behavior.

While at a party, bar, etc., we are more than confident as we bust out every move in the book, and flirt to the point of absurdity. Once home and in bed, we assertively strip off their clothes, and proceed to “do the damn thing.” The next morning, there are even polite comments like, “Thanks for coming over,” or “I had fun,” and then perhaps some empty promises of a call. And then…nothing.

However, it is not the act of casual sex that I denounce, it is the petty behavior that follows. Why is it that after we have acted with the utmost self-assurance, we suddenly lose the assumption that we are the Man? We become cowards, and as a result, lose all sense of common decency. We duck into corners, hide behind friends, and sometimes go as far as to blatantly ignore the person. We lose any regard for a person that just last weekend we were jumping through hoops for.

I am not saying that a meeting after a one-night stand should be easy and comfortable. It will OBVIOUSLY be awkward, because casual sex can never remain casual. But, one should only be allowed to enjoy the pleasure and excitement of a one-night stand if they are mature enough to handle the aftermath. In agreeing to go through with one night of passion, it should be understood that one can expect some decency afterwards.

A one-night stand is often acknowledged by both parties, and therefore there is no need to reiterate the casualness of the experience by treating the person as though they don’t exist. We cannot be so immature as to pretend they don’t. The truth of the matter is that they do exist, and they have shared something intimate with you, whether you like it or not. There is no need to overdo things and launch into a deep conversation at every meeting, but a simple “Hey, what’s up?” will often do the trick.

In summation, if you are one of those who cannot handle the consequences of a one-night stand, then don’t have them. You are a disgrace to the art of casual sex, and give a bad name to something that could be so good.