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Students and alumni dressed in suit jackets and cocktail dresses joined together for a five course meal and a lesson on etiquette March 25.  

“An Evening of Elegance” took place in the Livak Ballroom and was sponsored by Class Council, the UVM Alumni Association, Career Services and the Emily Post Institute.

Anna Post, a class of 2001 alumna and the great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post, talked during four of the five courses and lectured on everything from which fork to use to how to act at a business lunch.

Post said that etiquette is about having an awareness of other people. To her, that means etiquette should be used everywhere and not just on special occasions. 

“Etiquette is a little bit like dress,” Post said. “If you take the time, it shows that you care, that you are making the effort.” 

She suggested that etiquette is not a rigid code of manners but can be very practical. It does not only include manners, but also codes of behavior and social norms.

Post then began the instruction by saying that eating is inherently a “gross” activity.

“Table manners help us to keep from grossing out people we are with,” she said.

Post said the rule she found most important to follow was chewing with the mouth closed, because other people should be able to have a pleasant social experience as well. 

Etiquette gives a person confidence by providing a way to know what to do at a meal with others.

“[Manners] can be the critical differentiator between you and your competition,” she said. 

Post then decoded the table when there are three spoons, two forks, a knife and two glasses set out for each person.  

The mnemonic device “BMW” can remind a person that bread is on the left above the forks, the meal plate is in the center and the water glass is above the knife on the right. 

Post said that contrary to popular belief, it is not OK to be fashionably late and that being on time shows courtesy. 

After a person has arrived at their destination, they should wait to be seated. Once they are shown to their table, the first thing they should do is put the napkin in their lap.

Next, the person closest to the bread should start passing it, first offering it to the person to the left, then continuing to pass it to the right. 

As with any course, it is courteous to wait until everyone has received their meal before starting. If the food is hot, it is acceptable to start eating if your host insists that you eat while it is still hot. 

One thing Post was adamant about was having no elbows on the table while eating. 

“I’m not levering my food to my face like a steam shovel,” she said.

Post also talked about cellphone etiquette.

“It is never OK to put your phone on the table at a meal – you should not be available to anyone but that person,” she said. “[A cellphone] is just a ticking time bomb waiting to interrupt.”

If someone is a chronic cellphone user, Post said it is perfectly acceptable to ask them to put it away. 

Saying, ‘Hey, would you mind putting away the phone so I can focus on our conversation and get the most out of our time,’ would be a good way to politely ask your guest for their attention, Post said. 

In the end, she said that etiquette is not about being formal but about being appropriate.

“I think it’s really important when you’re impressing people, especially someone important,” sophomore Haley Leavitt said. 

Another attendee had a different reason.

“I went because I have a lot of pet peeves,” senior Michael Gibson said. 

Whatever the reason, attendees seemed to find the information useful.

“It gives me more confidence just being able to communicate with people and in social situations,” senior Shayna Camp said.