T.J. Donahue is still reeling from two “insanely uncomfortable” interactions he had in two different on-campus bathrooms on Friday, Feb. 23. The first incident occurred at 10:03 a.m. in the Old Mill third floor bathroom.

“There was one other guy at the urinal,” Donahue recounted, “and as I was unzipping, I glanced over at a little piece of graffiti next to the other urinal. But, this guy saw me and thought I was trying to peek at his junk.”

“This guy was definitely trying to peep my junk,” Travis Barkman later stated in a telephone interview.

“I am as fascinated by the hideous idiosyncrasies of the male body as much as the next guy,” Donahue said, “but, I wasn’t peeping his junk. The worst part was that the graffiti on the wall said, ‘You’re An Idiot.'”

Later that day, Donahue entered the first floor library bathroom, which has been consistently rated “pretty clean” by the Web site www.howcleanareuvmbathrooms.com.

“I went in to wash my hands, and there was a terrible stench – like the contents of a medieval trebuchet – and as I was finishing up, some guy walked in.”

This “some guy,” James Maxwell, had little choice but to attribute the smell to the most obvious culprit. Maxwell admitted later to shooting Donahue a look of “stern disapproval and extreme dissatisfaction.”