Local Anarchist Confesses Difficulty in Managing Own Life

Gary Dale, an ex-punk and ex-self-loather, recently an?nounced that he has trouble organizing his day and “doing anything productive.” “I’ll start doing one thing,” Dale said in an interview at his home on Winooski Street. Before he finished his sen?tence, Dale walked over to his mantel and smashed a blue vase. Dale stated that he often abandons tying his second shoe because he feels that it would be “too conformist.” He added that after he eats a meal, he has an “internal rev?olution” as to whether or not he will wash the dishes. “I just don’t want to grat?ify my bourgeois side with that kind of imposed order,” Dale said, “but then all the dishes will be dirty, and then I can’t stage my communal dinners.” Dale said that he was seeking help at a local group therapy session, but that he can only bring himself to at?tend “every once in a while.” In related news, James Kirby, a fellow attendee of the same group therapy ses?sion and a local fascist, re?cently stated that he still has no friends. “I don’t get it,” Kirby said, “I thought everyone wants to be friends with the dictator.”