Millis Dealer Introduces $25 Eighth

A new development in UVM’s underground drug economy has been unfolding last week since second floor Millis resident Andrew Torrey changed his business model.Torrey, a freshman environmental studies major and business minor, found that his competition was getting too high and was dissatisfied with the amount of sales he was making.”Even when I was selling eighth-ounces for $30 each,” Torrey said, “there were, like, five other guys down the hall selling at that same price. I had to do something.”Last Friday, Torrey started selling his eighth-ounce bags for $25. Until last week, $30 was thought to be the bottom price for an eighth-ounce amount of marijuana in UVM’s free marketplace.”My business has gone up 3 points in the last fiscal week,” Torrey said. “As this bar graph shows, the difference in price per baggie has more than made up for in the amount of units I am now able to move.””He’s a really great kid,” said Millis resident Melanie Cronin, “How many dealers can say that they are looking out for the people who are buying off them?”For Eric Bilowitz, another dealer in the Millis dormitory, Torrey’s decision has inspired similar action.”I used to think that selling at the highest price I could was the best deal for me,” Bilowitz said, “But since I switched to [An]drew’s new way I have made so much dough. Check out these new Nike OffSprings I just won on eBay.”For other dealers, however, Torrey’s switch has not been as beneficial. “There’s an unspoken rule that you just don’t go below $30 unless it’s some real schwag,” said Mark Weiss, also a Millis dealer. “He’s not selling schwag, though. It’s mostly pretty decent outdoors.”But Torrey is not concerned. His next step is accepting Cat$cratch. “It would make things way more convenient for me and my clients,” Torrey said. “But with the equipment fees and obligatory surcharges, I’ll probably have to up the price back to $30. I’ll still keep it at $45 for headies, though.”According to Fontella Diggs, chief operator at the CATcard Service Center, “An association with the campus weed dealers would be quite beneficial for all parties involved,” she said, “We are just waiting on the approval of UVM Police Services now.”UVM Police Services could not be reached for comment at press time.