SGA Actually Does Something

In the first time of its 20-plus year existence, the Student Government Association actually accomplished its first goal ever Tuesday.

In a motion that passed 38-0, and after some discussion and argument, the Senators suddenly realized they did something.

“I don’t really know how it happened,” said current SGA President Ron Chickentaco.

“Here we were, arguing about Robert’s Rules of Order or something, and then BAM! We realized we actually did something.”

Ihaveataco was not the only member of the SGA shocked, and some were moved to tears, it has been reported.

“I mean, I only joined the SGA because my fraternity brothers told me it would be an easy resume builder,” said one senator.

“I didn’t even run, I was randomly appointed by someone in the office and told to come to meetings.

“I never expected to do anything, and now that we have finally, I’m speechless.”

Not everyone is so shocked. SGA President-elect Bo BeBo stated that he knew the SGA would eventually get around to doing something.

“All of those resolutions to stop the war and things like that, I’d thought they come in handy sometime,” Bebo said excitedly.”We talked and talked about doing something, and now we did.

“I knew it would happen eventually. Have you seen my new website for the clubs? Now they can attempt to do something too!”

While most Senators were excited to have press coverage for something they actually did, some claimed that this was not in fact the first time they ever did anything.

“I mean, do you remember the time that we talked about keeping that gate open late at night somewhere on campus? And tried to have our own newspaper?” said Public Affairs Chair Porch Pastel.

“We do lots of stuff, like that time we….Oh wait, that wasn’t us.

“But still, we do stuff, and the paper should cover it. You guys suck.”

One Senator agreed. “I mean, we give little bits of money to random clubs we like while stiffing the others,” said financial chair member Bob Bunt.

“We give the biggest amount to ourselves, by far. That’s doing something, and plus, we deserve it and these others clubs don’t. Like the Cynic.”

This isn’t the last time one will see the SGA attempt to do something, Ihaveataco promises.

“I mean, if it only took us like 20 years or so to get our act together, then watch out UVM, it might not take us another 20 to do.

“We’re going to become a real force on campus, just you wait and see.”