Students Assemble Crime Force to Investigate Drug Thefts

A group of disgruntled soph-omores have unofficially found-ed a new campus organization called SRDD, or Students Re-solving Drug-related Disputes. Though the group is current-ly a task force, which will even-tually turn into an affiliation and then consortium, the founding members hope SGA will grant them club status soon. “The police just seem to turn a blind eye to the theft of chil-lums, dime bags and Ritalin,” said Timothy Chesterfield III, the founding member. “We want to investigate these crimes and help the rightful owners regain their stolen drugs or parapher-nalia.” SRDD currently works by word-of-mouth reports of crimes, but they hope to setup an interactive Web site with the tentative domain name, wiki-drugtheftuvm.org. Chesterfield III likens his organization to “the Rough Rid-ers.” He clarified that he meant Teddy Roosevelt’s gang, not the hugely popular rap group. The group employs renegade tactics like lip-print identifica-tions and a high-grade cannabis analysis system (measured in dank-o-meters).