The University of Vermont's Independent Voice Since 1883

The Vermont Cynic

The University of Vermont's Independent Voice Since 1883

The Vermont Cynic

The University of Vermont's Independent Voice Since 1883

The Vermont Cynic

“THE SEXY SEVEN”

The past few weeks have been gorgeous with the leaves turning, the return of cider donuts, and a nice crispness in the air.UVM apple sales and trips to stock up on cold weather clothes signal the time of the year we start to make our way indoors. Before you grab a glass of hot, spiked cider and cozy up next to your sweetie, take a moment to consider “The Sexy Seven.”Are these the seven spots guaranteed to please your lover? Why, no, they aren’t. Are they a Vermont-inspired “must have” clothing list for the fall? Not unless Paris Hilton’s new line includes insulated snow boots and flannel-lined, low rise jeans. “The Sexy Seven” are signs that someone is capable of giving consent to sex when they’ve been drinking some of that hot spiked cider or other alcoholic beverages (or using any kind of drug recreationally). The following are signs that need to be minimally present in order for someone to be able to give consent to a sexual act (i.e. making out, fondling, oral, vaginal, or anal sex). This list is not exhaustive, nor is it in order of importance. “The Sexy Seven”? They know their own name? They know your name ? They can say a coherent sentence ? They can unbutton a button? They can walk unassisted? They can verbally say “yes” ? They are not vomiting A note on the last one: Trying to have sex with someone who is vomiting or has been vomiting is not only wrong, but way gross. Be decent and let them throw up in peace without pressure to have sex after heaving over a toilet. Want to show you care and are still attracted to them? Make sure they don’t have alcohol poisoning and then get them a wet washcloth, a bowl – for future heaves, a little water, and tuck them into bed.What if you’re using booze as a social lubricant? Ok, use that new found courage to ask someone out or flirt. If you’re looking for a “hook-up,” there are many people out there who are interested in just sex (yes, women too!) and would make a great (sober) sex buddy. Plus, think of what a compliment it will be to know that a person is having sex with you because they want to and not because they’re plastered and their guard is down. So here’s the deal: alcohol is a depressant and actually makes sex less enjoyable than if you were sober. Hot sex tip No.1 – be able to feel what your sex partner is doing with and/or to you. Plus you’ll be bummed if they had some great moves and you fell asleep during their bump and grind routine. Keep an eye out for more sex, health, and wellness tips weekly! Questions or comments? E-mail me at [email protected].

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“THE SEXY SEVEN”