Things to Say

To the Editor: The recent barrage of hate articles for the “Practical Cynic” has me thinking about why some people hate to laugh and love to get offended. I mean, surely she doesn’t think or write in the most PC way, but honestly, who really does? Her articles are possibly the most honest recounting of the intellectual atmosphere at this school, and they are quite funny also. Most people want a stop to her brutally honest storytelling, but I say that the show must go on. There have been some miscommunications between what was written in the articles and the people who were offended. If the articles are closely read, it becomes clear that the “Practical Cynic” was not intending to offend people, but to show them brutally honest examples of intellectual discourse at this school. People mentioned in her articles say things like, “I’d give up all my intelligence for beauty.” I’ve seen many dunderheads lurking around on campus, but I must say that a girl who says something like that doesn’t exactly belong to the MENSA society, let alone at UVM. Neither do the overtly flashy and unreal ladies who spend more time putting on their eyeliners and low-cut jeans – which happen to expose half their ass-crack when they sit down – than they do on their books. Lastly, the baseball article was not at all about how girls should know baseball, it was rather about the integrity of girls who sell themselves out to get attention from douche-bag guys. I’d also like to address one incredibly pissed-off critic, Zoe Anderson. For one, I love how she poses to be the defender of all that is right but sinks herself to a shamefully low level by physically threatening to punch the “Practical Cynic,” something that is not kosher – and also on a personal note to Zoe, it isn’t wise to make physical threats in public newspapers, because everyone knows who you are. Secondly, Zoe is blatantly dying to pick a fight. Third, Zoe is a hypocrite. How so, you ask? Let’s look at the last paragraph of her article. “I don’t even like baseball, or pretty girls or dumb jock dudes, nor am I anyone you insulted so far, but try it…and see what comes your way.” Let’s do some math, shall we? If Zoe isn’t all the things she doesn’t like then she’s ridin’ on the same train as the Cynic. So, what’s to get so mad about? Personally, as a friend, I suggest you pop some estrogen pills, smoke a fatty and chill the &^#% out. On a final note, the “Practical Cynic” is not putting down the female sex; she is rather standing up for its integrity and looking to retain some moral dignity as a woman by exposing all who are a shame to intellectual growth. Also, an important message to all the tight-ass readers who hate the column: If you don’t like it, don’t read it. But if you are one of those people who love to read that stuff and bitch about it, you might as well not read it, either,because you will be ridiculed in successive articles.