America, Land of Wealthy Sloths

As the World Trade Towers fell on that eerie day more than three years ago, Americans came together into a single, like minded unit, proud of their country and ready to stand up for their right and defend their nation. Now, a mere thirty-seven months later, Americans have proved themselves flibbertigibbets as the vicious bickering against their President escalates, despite the fact that Bush is doing what he believes is the right thing to do in order to protect America.

After all, the fundamental reason for a nation to exist is to ensure the safety of its citizens. Bringing the battle over to Iraq (insurgents attack because they hate Americans and democracy) is better than being dormant and getting attacked again, which, coincidentally, would shift the feelings of Americans to the right once more. So everyone hates America, even many Americans. People say Al Qaeda is not correlated with Iraq, and it’s not, just as the Ku Klux Klan of America is not representative of the United States. Both hateful groups are a part of the country they are contained in. They are both groups that exist; terrorists want you dead – they want all of our soldiers dead – they do not understand the idea of pacifism that abounds in Burlington – they want to kill pacifists just as much as they want to kill proponents of war. And they do not plan on stopping, no matter if George Bush, John Kerry, or Bob Weir becomes President. And that’s the crux of the issue – should we retreat and wait for another 9/11?

Nobody likes war, but it’s inevitable; war has existed since mankind has. Put two three year olds in a sandbox, and naturally they will covet each other’s toys because human nature is inherently prone to jealousy and envy. You can’t change innate programming. After all, America is less than two hundred and fifty years old and has the most pull in the world whereas a nation like Iraq, for instance, has had civilization that dates back to those distanced B.C. years, and has more or less been the nation of Iraq for eight hundred or so years.

Here is where the jealousy factor comes into play: Americans can pay exorbitant amounts of money to go to college, get drunk, be lazy, and not go to class, and still end up better off financially in the long run. America: the land of the wealthy sloths.

So next time you attend an anti-Bush stance, just remember that there are people who value killing you more than they value their own lives. And every time an insurgent is killed in Iraq, that’s one less person that wants to behead you and blow snot rockets down into your headless corpse. We must not forget who we are fighting, and why we are fighting. It sucks that this is the reality we live in, I just want to chill out and be a good person; I could sure use a drink.