Blackberrys for Brains

  While perusing a US Airways magazine on my flight home, I came across a feature article written by a deaf man who suggested that we should be implanting communication technology, like smart phones and the Internet, directly into our brains. In the article, labeled “Must Read” by the all-knowing airline magazine editorial staff, our deaf author arrives at his conclusion by pointing out that he is able to hear because of a computer technology that was implanted in his own brain. He draws on this personal experience to talk about what it would be like if we had Blackberry brains. Let us examine the brilliance of his argument: “An implanted device would have to do more than a Blackberry. It would have to let people be effortlessly aware of what their friends and colleagues are doing.” Ah! Yes! Finally.  Because I’ve always thought that my Facebook status feed was on par with my frontal cortex. I mean, really, let’s imagine the bliss of being “effortlessly aware of what friends and colleagues are doing”…  2:41 update!                                     Jim is peeing.                                     Miranda thinks the guy in front of her is totally cute.                                     Jim would like fries with that.  2:43 update!                                     Joe thinks his coffee is too hot.                                     Brian is smoking a cigarette.  He thinks about quitting. Tonight he is going bowling. Oh, isn’t this fun?  And man, it would be way too much effort to get on a computer with high-speed wireless Internet to find out all of these important facts about my friends and colleagues. No, my deaf and confused friend, implanting Blackberry’s in our heads doesn’t sound like an improvement in my book, it just sounds like more.  How about we stop calling every shiny new toy that is smaller and faster an improvement and start calling it what it is: more. It is just more. Sometimes it’s better sometimes it’s worse, but it’s definitely always more. More email. More chats. More searches. More messages. More pictures. More tweets. More tags. More likes. More comments. More. More. More. And with “stress” and “tired” being the most commonly uttered words between Monday and Friday, and with a diet of Diet Coke, coffee, Red Bull and Adderal,  I think it might be time for us to consider that the last thing we need is more.