Angelika Hillios

Bodies are meant to change

October 20, 2021

From ages 12-17, I felt like the sexiest girl ever.

I don’t know what chemicals in my pubescent brain made me feel like Pamela Anderson, but my self-confidence hit the roof. 

Once I entered my 20s, my self-confidence plummeted. Right now, I have a particularly low view of myself, especially my body.

This summer, I noticed my skirts, the ones I’ve worn since I was 15, were getting harder and harder to fit over my ass.

I felt rolls I never felt before. I stared in the mirror for hours, twisting and turning, convincing myself they were always there.

I didn’t want to acknowledge my weight gain, pushing it to the back of my mind as the waistband of my skirts dug into me. 

Then, I weighed myself.

I gained more weight than I realized in a few months. I felt my world crashing down when I saw those numbers.

It’s backwards to think my body at 15 would stay the same at 21, but that’s how I felt. 

We need to normalize weight gain in our 20s. Our bodies don’t magically stop changing after 17.

Adult bodies aren’t supposed to look like teenagers’. 

In our 20s, we may notice an increase of fat distribution in our hips, thighs and bust region, which is caused by the metabolic changes, weight gain and hormonal changes our bodies go through, according to an Oct 9, 2015 Cosmopolitan article. 

Also, weight continues to increase annually due to the increase in body fat, the article stated. 

Weight gain during our 20s is natural.

While I know this fact isn’t going to make me magically love my body, it does make me feel better. 

I know many others are experiencing weight gain and are feeling shitty about it too.

I’ve always been praised for being skinny to the point that gaining weight was the end of the world. I thought I’d no longer be pretty if I gained more weight. 

After gaining weight at 21, I realized the world didn’t end.

I’m sick and tired of constantly sucking in my stomach and feeling bad about food. 

My weight shouldn’t be my worth. I shouldn’t be ashamed that I, a senior in college, can’t fit into my high school freshman clothing.

Our bodies are supposed to change as we get older. Weight gain and aging are not shameful and we need to stop thinking this way.

We aren’t any less beautiful or loveable once we hit a certain number on the scale. 

One way I am slowly getting comfortable in my skin is to stop comparing my body to other peoples. Going on Instagram less and less has been really helpful as well.

We shouldn’t look like our cringy teenage selves at 20-something. 

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