The University of Vermont's Independent Voice Since 1883

The Vermont Cynic

The University of Vermont's Independent Voice Since 1883

The Vermont Cynic

The University of Vermont's Independent Voice Since 1883

The Vermont Cynic

Eckztremely Eckzessive

Dear ESPN,

A cool new trend has developed in our language today: misspelling. Your favorite way to misspell seems to be the use of the letter X to replace “ex” at the beginning of the word “extreme”.

You have used it in the spelling of your totally gnarly X-Games, a righteous competition that rocks all of our worlds to the maximum limit twice every year.

However, is using only “X” really the most extreme way to abbreviate and misspell? I think it is not. Just getting rid of the “e” is not very extreme at all, is it?

Granted, the letter E is a very tiresome one; it’s only extreme quality is that it is the most frequently used letter of our alphabet. This is not appealing to the Go-Gurt-guzzling generation of teens who you market to with no time for just another E. E is not very x-citing, we can all agree.

But there simply isn’t anything inherently extreme about the letter X, and ignoring E is a feeble attempt to spice up the language of cable’s most radical television program. It is time for something a little more hip.

I propose the following, slightly more cumbersome, but definitely more extreme misspelling: “eckztreme”. This slap in the face to conventional spellers has infinitely more extreme power to compel those living in the past to adjust to ESPN’s in your in-your-face approach to entertainment. Instead of getting rid of a letter, add many.

This bodacious method of spelling is right up the alley of today’s youth, who are making themselves known by adding “xtreme” games to our overall store of legitimized sports, with eckzcessive style and attitude. American pop culture has proven that eckzcess is extreme, not abbreviation.

Life is too short already; we have a duty to maxx it out while we are young.

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Eckztremely Eckzessive