Everyone is sick of Obama’s lies

Last week, president Obama released his long-form certificate of live birth to the public, in the hope that it would end years of speculation about his birthplace, telling the White House Press Corps “we don’t have time for this silliness.” Donald Trump, rightly taking full credit for the president’s actions, made a good point – why doesn’t the president make his transcripts from Columbia and Harvard public? Word on the street is that Obama was an atrocious student, and I believe it. What does magna cum laude even mean, anyway? But I don’t think it is enough. I think it is probably safe to say that Obama was born in the United States. But there’s some compelling evidence on the interwebs that Obama’s maternal grandparents, hearing of their grandson’s birth, and knowing that 46 years later he would become president of the United States, put fake birth notices in two separate Honolulu newspapers (source: obamalies.gop.org). Everyone knows he spend much of his childhood in Kenya with his father. Mike Huckabee said so. I hear he still has Kenyan citizenship, too. I hear Barry took a class his junior year at Columbia on 20thcentury political thought. You know who was probably discussed in that class? Karl Marx. I’d like to see Obama explain that. And if Obama was such a poor student, how was elected president of the Harvard Law Review. And speaking of Harvard – you know who else went there? Ted Kacyzynski. That’s right – the Unabomber. And what about Obama’s ties to another domestic terrorist, Bill Ayers? You know who Bill Ayers is probably related to? Cynic Managing Editor Jeff Ayers. Did I do any research into this? I did not. And why hasn’t Obama joined a new congregation since he moved to Washington? I bet he’s a Muslim. 97% of Americans agree – at least that’s what Sen. John Kyl said. Don’t believe that? His middle name is Hussein, which, according to an overly patriotic hotdog vendor I once encountered, means “death to Americans.” Plus, he’s an Arab. Don’t you remember that woman at the 2008 McCain rally? With all of this compelling evidence that Obama has been lying to us for years, I think we ought to look deeper into his past. I want to see every single document that his name is on. I want to see his kindergarten report card. I just can’t focus on the issues until I know what he got on his SATs and why he dropped the nickname “Barry”and what the notes his mother left him in his lunchbox said. And I’m not alone. Well, at least it’s me and the Donald.