I Want a Famous Face: Dan Fogel

MTV’s new hit show, I Want a Famous Face, receives thousands of applications each day from eager viewers all over the county. This makeover show uses plastic surgery in addition to clothing, makeup, and hair styling, to alter the appearances of average individuals.

But unlike other extreme makeover shows, this MTV program changes the candidates into celebrities. In the first few episodes, makeover candidates were transformed into celebrities such as Brad Pitt, Pamela Anderson, and Britney Spears. And in an upcoming episode, a lucky makeover candidate will be sculpted into President Fogel of the University of Vermont.

The new MTV candidate, who is a third semester sophomore at the University of Vermont, wishes to keep his name anonymous for the time being, but he agreed to an exclusive interview. To keep confusion to a minimum, he will be called Bob in this article.

When asked why he wanted to look like Fogel, Bob said, “it has always been my dream to be president of a university, and with Fogel’s face I will increase my chances of achieving that goal.” Bob thinks that his chin and nose do not match the high standards of collegiate employers, so he will be getting a chin implant and a nose job to meet those standards.

“People don’t realize how competitive administration at the college level is,” says Bob. The president is always in the public eye, giving speeches and attending fundraising events, so a weak and natural face is inadequate. Bob is well aware of the sharks fighting for jobs in New England universities, and he does not want to take any chances. A successful president needs to have a face that screams, “Go ahead … make my day.” Bob believes that only an indestructible plastic face can stand up to the rigors of life as a university president.

A makeover consultant for MTV suggested that Bob get porcelain veneers and a butt lift. Bob agreed to the veneers because he thinks that the gleaming white of the new teeth will distract students when he eventually announces significant increases in tuition. However, he rejected the suggestion of a butt lift because he thinks that a perky butt will detract from his credibility as an effective president.

As expected, there will be substantial pain associated with the multiple surgeries involved in this makeover. Bob is somewhat worried about the pain and the healing process, but he is very eager to see the results.

“The whole process will be worth it when I become a university president,” says Bob. Not only will his change in appearance affect the views of influential people towards Bob, it will affect Bob’s own view of himself. The new face will bolster Bob’s confidence and give him the strength and energy to leap into his career.

After the surgery, Bob plans to drive across the country in his Volkswagen Fox to campaign at all of the major universities. Although Bob still has a few years of college to complete, he wants to begin networking ASAP for his career.