Loosen up

I’m addicted to a few things in life. One of them is Marché mac and cheese.I’m actually eating Marché mac right now — that’s just how addicted to it I am — and with every bite I’m taking I can’t help but wonder: What exactly is in this stuff?I’m sure most of you have wondered why some of the food on campus is just so addictive, like Marché mac and those Trix-Treats that the Marketplace in the Davis Center sells. I bet a few of you wonder why some of it makes us feel so, to be frank about it, loose.And I don’t mean feeling loose like you’ve just pounded a PBR, either.Is it the grease? The massive amounts of calories I’m ingesting that my body is rejecting? Or is there something much more sinister at play here? Is there something in my beloved mac that makes me feel so loose?Well, friends, I’ve done the leg work for you and got to the bottom of this campus food fiasco once and for all, because we’ve all heard the rumors. I mean, just browse through the plethora of college-themed websites out there and you’ll find at least one reference to laxatives in campus food.The rumors stem from the idea that food produced on a mass level, such as college cafeterias, may contain some form of food-borne illness and the laxative prevents the body from becoming sick because the food is processed so quickly. It would explain a lot if it were true, wouldn’t it?However, I can assure you readers that none of the food on campus contains any form of laxative whatsoever.How do I know this?Well, I asked.A few brief and somewhat embarrassing e-mails to the friendly people at University Dining Services assured me that the mac and cheese I hold dear was, in fact, nothing more than just mac and cheese.Whew.They contribute students’ “looseness” to improper diet.  Consuming items such as pastries and juice for breakfast, pizza for dinner, drinking umpteen cups of coffee during the day and who knows what else at night can really screw up your system.Our friends at University Dining Services recommend trying to eat as normally as you can. They know it’s difficult considering busy schedules, food options and the occasional midnight munchies, but it can be done.If you want to regulate yourself, they recommend cutting  down on greasy, convenient foods like those pizzas and tenders sitting under heat lamps and instead stick with a sandwich and some soup. Coffee may give you a boost, but swap a few cups a day for some water or juice.My addictive and adored mac is on that list of foods to keep at a minimum, so I guess I’ll have to cut back myself. Then again, we all need to get loose every once in a while.