Stop blaming female adult actresses for your insecurities

Gabby Felitto, Opinion Editor

I have been an avid porn watcher since I was probably about 12. I didn’t have much supervision as a child and I had a Tumblr account when it was at its height for pornographic content.  

Since then, I have watched various types of porn videos, listened to 18+ ASMR, and read tons and tons of smut. I always watch, read or listen to some sort of smutty content whenever I am bored. 

As a teenage girl, watching porn was always interesting and fun. While I do think getting a lot of our sex education from porn is really bad, I was able to learn so much from porn. 

Now, as a veteran porn watcher, I acknowledge that the porn industry is very toxic and has tons of issues surrounding it and that consuming this so much from such a young age is not good at all, but that is a story for another time. 

Lately, especially on subreddits like Female Dating Strategy, there is a lot of talk about how porn makes many women feel insecure about their bodies and puts unrealistic expectations on how women’s bodies should look. 

When I first thought about this, I thought, “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” I think we all have a sort of “look’ for when we imagine an adult actress. I’d say we usually envision a conventionally pretty young blonde girl who is skinny with fake big boobs and dresses trashy. 

But then I started thinking about all of the porn I’ve watched since 2012. Yes, I have seen lots of female Adult Actresses who look like what we would imagine a porn star looks like, but I have seen so many different types of women. 

Porn has introduced me to so many different bodies and so many different types of sexy. 

I know that Pornhub as well as other sites have many videos of many girls being filled without consent, girls who are coerced and taken advantage of, but this is not the porn that I am talking about. 

To clarify, I am talking about porn from big companies that have actresses who are consenting to being filmed as well as being paid for it. Some of these companies are WoodRocket, Burning Angel, Bang Bros, Vixen, Brazzers, Tushy, and Kink.com, whose videos star well known actresses like Charlotte Sartre, Cindy Starfall, and Skin Diamond. Many of these companies have their videos all over common porn sites like infamous Pornhub. 

Also many of these actresses that I have recognized throughout my porn journey often make their own content on sites like OnlyFans. 

Through watching porn from famous porn companies, I’ve seen dark nipples, pink nipples, inverted nipples, nipples that are so pale they’re barely there, huge nipples and tiny nipples. I’ve seen small boobs, medium boobs, huge natural boobs and huge fake boobs. I’ve seen innie labias, outie labias, uneven labias and labias of almost every color. I’ve seen hairy girls, hairless girls and those in between. 

When the camera closes up on some of these actresses, you can even see their acne under their makeup. You can see their rolls when their bodies move. You can even see stretch marks on many of these actresses. 

I know for sure I don’t fit a lot of what society deems as beautiful. I’ve never once felt insecure after watching porn. If anything I felt better after watching it.”

— Gabby Felitto

Through porn, I was also able to see so many styles from these women. There are goth/alt girls, typical girls next door, more mature women, “nerdy” girls, hot girls and more androgenous looking women. 

Society has taught us that women who do porn are fake and trashy. Porn is to blame for so many societal issues, and women are almost always the ones who get the short end of the stick when it comes to this. 

I know for sure I don’t fit a lot of what society deems as beautiful. I’ve never once felt insecure after watching porn. If anything I felt better after watching it. But I believe that as this generation becomes more sex positive and pro-sex work, girls have to stop putting the blame on these adult actresses, as well as content creators on camming sites like OnlyFans, for their own insecurities.

Adult actresses and content creators have been pretty inclusive when you really take the time to look at porn. As time has gone on, inclusivity has increased, especially with women made porn sites like Bellesa, The Crash Pad and Lust Cinema. 

These adult actresses and content creators are just trying to make a living and many of them for sure do not fit the societal model of what a porn star is. It is not their fault that someone may feel insecure about their outie labia, curves or lack thereof. 

I truly believe that social media, along with society’s expectations of how women should look, are the reason why many women become insecure about their bodies. When you spend most of your time on TikTok or Instagram looking at conventionally pretty influencers and models, you probably won’t feel good about yourself after.

The thing with social media is, is that we feel the need to make the best version of ourselves for everyone to see. Through posting these selfies, we are trying to find a version of ourselves that will get the most likes, according to a Jan, 17th 2017 Cosmopolitan article. 

Instagram is a competition of who has the most money, who has the best style, who is the coolest, and especially, who is the prettiest. 

Society also puts these pressures on women to be “conventionally” attractive, have long silky hair, an hourglass figure and to look like we always have the “no make-up” makeup look. If we dont look like this mold, we are not attractive. 

I also believe that these societal pressures are also the reason why so many men are so awful when it comes to women’s appearances. I’ve seen so many gross males make “roast beef” jokes on social media, especially reddit. 

From all the porn that I have watched, I have seen firsthand the wide array of sexiness online. This means that there must be a market out there that is seeking out these different body types and kinks. So why do men continue to make jokes about a woman’s body when they themselves are also seeking these bodies for porn consumption? 

I believe that men get away with making these disgusting jokes because society tells them that a woman’s worth is in their appearances. I also believe that due to the pressure men feel to be attracted to conventional beauties that aren’t their ideal woman, many men fulfill their real desires through porn in private, instead of dating the women they are actually attracted to, because society tells them their wrong from liking these women. 

I know for sure I don’t fit a lot of what society deems as beautiful. I’ve never once felt insecure after watching porn. If anything I felt better after watching it. 

As someone who has really sensitive skin and eczema, shaving was always hard on me, especially because I am very prone to ingrown hairs, and nothing really works to prevent this no matter what.

But, I remember watching Janice Griffith porn for the first time and seeing her with so many ingrown public hairs. And the male actor was looking at her like she was the prettiest person he’s ever seen. 

This made me realize that ingrown hairs don’t matter. Someone will like me whether or not my skin is smooth and soft or prickly, red and bumpy. This also made me feel normal. 

Porn is not a “who is prettiest” competition. Porn caters to everyone’s desires, and everyone’s desires look different. So stop blaming Adult actresses. They are already villainized enough by society for doing something people think is shameful and dirty. 

It is about time that girls stop blaming girls. 

If you continue to alienate these women, we will never be able to accept ourselves for how we are and tackle why we actually feel this way. 

If you really want to see girls who look like you and want to watch porn, go to one of these websites. And stop spending so much time on Instagram.