You Cry Like a Girl

Dear Mathew Silverman, I enjoyed your recent article in the first issue of the Cynic this year, the one titled “Trey Cries Like a Girl” where you connect Phish to SUV’s. You again achieved success by ranting for a whole 12 paragraphs about…well, nothing. Now as Opinions and Editorial Editor this year you have full reins to complain about liberal minded people to your hearts content.

Remember your series of articles where you made fun of Socialist last year?

They were funny. This one was better though, I liked the part concerning SUV’s when you asked “What is it about these monsters of the road that attracts Americans to them.” I don’t know Matt what attracted you to your car? How is the Honda civic these days? OH wait you don’t drive a Honda civic, that’s right you drive a Ford Crown Vic, how’s that baby on gas? Been chasing many speeders? It’s probably not a 4 cylinder is it? This article reminded me once again of how ridicules you are. Before you make judgments about how much of a better person you are then some one who drives an SUV, you should look at your own life because its rank with hypocrysy. Isn’t it? Thanks again for your insight, and I will be waiting till next week for another installment of “The Silverman Papers”.

Your Liberal Buddy,Travis Welsh