Breeding beasts

The Most Giving Couple: Ticha Penicheiro and Steve Nash

Penicheiro is the all-time assist leader in the WNBA and Steve Nash is eigth all-time in assists in the NBA. The two have combined for more than 10,000 assits in their careers.

Valentine’s Day is all about giving and no couple has dished out more “gifts” throughout their playing days than these two. Both are on the last leg of their career but the last — and best — gift they can give is creating the best passing point guard of all time.

The Ultimate Couple: Serena Williams and Lebron James

If you are looking for absolute physical specimens, here they are. Serena Williams is more jacked than 99 percent of the meatheads at UVM and would literally kick my ass any day of the week. Her website lists her at 5 feet 9 inches and 150 pounds. Come on. 150 pounds? No way in hell she is anywhere below 180. Besides the physical absurdities of this woman, she is an absolute beast on the tennis court and has had one of the most successful careers in United States women’s tennis.

Speaking of freakish athletes, LeBron is the most amazing physical specimen we have in the industry right now. At 6 feet 8 inches and 250 pounds LeBron has the greatest athletic ability in any sport at the moment. His leaping ability at 6′ 8″ is remarkable and he has almost superhuman strength and agility. Hopefully his kid with Serena won’t be as big of an egotistical jerk as he is. Would anyone be surprised if he names their son LeBron II? Oh, wait, he already has a son named Lebron II. What a surprise.

The Worst Couple: Shannon Bobbitt and Yao Ming

Who is Shannon Bobbitt you ask? The shortest player in the WNBA, whom I just looked up on Google, that’s who. At 5 feet 2 inches tall and 130 pounds, Bobbitt is the smallest guard in the WNBA. And then we have Yao Ming, the 7-foot-6-inch, 310-pound NBA center from the Houston Rockets. Not only is this the biggest height differential I could find, Yao is just an ugly-looking dude. Please go look at a picture of Shannon Bobbitt and try and tell me that Yao and her having a child wouldn’t create one of the most awkward-looking children ever.