Hey readers! The opinion section is happy to inform you that we are bringing back our new and improved advice column, Ask the Cats. At the end of each month, the cats of the opinion section will answer the questions that you need to be answered!
Here is this week’s first question: How do you get out of the talking stage?
Gary Purr: I think this one can be pretty simple, you just ask to hangout. It’s so much easier to make a move with somebody if you hang out in person, and gauge whether or not they feel the same way. I think the difficulty comes when a person may cancel plans at the last minute more than once, that’s when it starts to feel hard to get out of the talking stage. In that case, remember you are worth more than last-minute canceling, especially on multiple occasions.
Catphrodite: The thing with the talking stage is that it normally ends in two ways: 1) boundaries are set and you begin to date the person or 2) boundaries are set and you go your separate ways. To get out of the talking stage means defining the relationship. I know that is scary, and believe me I struggle sometimes to get the guts to do it. Yet you have to realize if you want more you need to have a conversation about where you are headed and what you want from each other. A relationship is a two-way street and what that means is communication!
Purresh Garimella: Often the hardest part about relationships is actually getting into the relationship. There always seems to be disconnection and miscommunication. A “will they- won’t they” dynamic before one of you puts on your big kid pants and asks the other the age-old question: “what are we?” If you feel like you’re being strung along with no end in sight, it might be time for you to initiate that tough conversation. My recommendation is to take your prospective other-half on a walk or a hike, where you don’t have to look each other in the eye and awkward silences can be avoided by talking about the scenery and casually slip it into the conversation. And remember to show that you’re actually interested. This generation seems to have a vendetta against showing our real feelings for others because we’re afraid of being “simps.” Be a simp, for the love of God. Never be afraid to show that you care. Neither one of you would still be here if you didn’t.
Deuce: You should let the talking stage go on for at least a few encounters. After this, you should ask to hang out and see how it goes. If successful, you should attempt this more often and have that person be the primary contact in terms of personal and social needs. Also, be tolerant of them having a life apart from you. If they cancel plans unexpectedly, just go with it and don’t question things. Instead, organize something with them for later. Just don’t give up and things will hopefully develop into a long-lasting relationship.