Here at the Cynic we might not be able to read tarot cards, and we certainly don’t have the budget for crystal balls, but we are pretty astute observers.

2023 means a new year full of hope, opportunity and, of course, trends. Here are the culture staff’s predictions for what’s going to be in and what’s going out in the new year.

In: Breakup albums, Out: Celebrity power couples – Maggie Swanborn

2022 saw the end of Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson, Pete Davidson and Emily Ratajkowski, Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde, Kendall Jenner and Devin Booker, and Phoebe Bridgers and Paul Mescal—I was rooting for them. The public celebrity power couples have had their time. 

In 2023, celebs will opt for more private relationships that leave their fans constantly wondering about their status, like Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn. Some might even venture out and date normal non-celebrities, like Ariana Grande and her real estate broker husband Dalton Gomez. 

The era of public celebrity couples will be overtaken by the rise of breakup anthems and albums. SZA had everyone ready to break up with their significant other to fully experience her newest album, “SOS.” 

Shakira is topping the charts with her new diss track against her former long-term boyfriend and famous soccer player Gerard Piqué. Miley Cyrus’s new single and anticipated breakup album, “Endless Summer Vacation,” has everyone ready to throw hands with Liam Hemsworth. 

2023 is guaranteed to be a year full of breakup bangers as long as Swift finally drops Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) and Olivia Rodrigo gets back in the studio. 

In: Hard copy books, Out: E-books – Keely Ehnstrom 

Soullessly scrolling through an e-book is so 2022. 

Books have an undeniable aroma. As you flip through the pages, a familiar smell of wooden bookshelves and a hint of spice escapes into the atmosphere. Reading on a screen cannot provide you with the same experience and no one would want to miss out on that distinct scent. 

Romanticize your college years and pick up that book even if it’s just for show. As young adults, we already spend the majority of our days staring at a screen. 

Use that hard copy book as an outlet away from technology, not just another tab.  

In: Wi-Fi that works, Out: UVM Wi-Fi – Will Hamilton

Since coming to UVM, the simple act of opening my computer has become one of great frustration. 

In a process I’m sure every person at this school is now familiar with, the Wi-Fi bar will begin to stutter, indicating it’s searching for a network, before going completely blank and, for good measure, kicking the user onto the UVM Guest Wi-Fi. 

Fighting to achieve a stable network is a long, tedious process, and by the end of it, I’ve lost all the motivation to finish what I set out to do in the first place. 

We’ve all seen UVM’s endowment, and in 2023 it seems high time to use some of that money and fix the Wi-Fi, so students can consistently do the work expected of us.

In: Just coffee, Out: Elaborate coffee orders – Maya Surrenti

Though perhaps controversial, I firmly believe that people are retiring crazy, complex coffee orders to opt instead for a simple black coffee or a chai.

Starbucks and other coffee shops are jacking up prices too much for a person to justify the added charge for syrup and a flavored milk. 

As we continue forward in 2023, I believe simplicity will be an ongoing trend and this minimalism resurgence will undoubtedly influence the coffee industry. 

In: Digital cameras, Out: iPhone cameras – Olivia Nardone

Who doesn’t want to live “The Simple Life” again?

This year, iPhone and Polaroid cameras are out and 2000s digital cameras are in. Next time you’re home, check your attic and pull out your little digital camera from grade school and bring it—along with your flip phone—to your next day or night out.

No more boring camera selfies—the bright flash of a digital camera will make you look better than ever. Like Paris Hilton once said, “that’s hot!” 

Embrace your inner Y2K baddie and pick up a digital camera from a thrift store or from one of many grandma eBay sellers.

In: Cash, Out: Cards – Eamon Dunn

Paying with a card, whether credit or debit, is so basic. It’s disconnected from the act of purchasing and ultimately just allows us to consume in a more detached and absentminded way. On top of it all, by paying with a card you’re leaving a financial trail for anyone to follow.

Cash, on the other hand, is cool in a way that can’t be matched by paying with a physical card or a digital wallet. It’s mysterious and retro, and the act of having to withdraw money adds another step that helps foster mindfulness around spending habits.

I’m not advocating that you cut up your cards and move off the grid—you should definitely still maintain your credit score—but 2023 is the year we break up the constant card usage to reclaim the more intentional spending of cash.