The Vermont Cynic

Despicable rule: a minion takeover

Despicable rule: a minion takeover

Daltrey Burris

May 5, 2016


Filed under Modest Proposals, Opinion

It all started July 9, 2010. It was innocent enough: finally, Steve Carrell was going to do some voice acting in a children’s movie — he had a silly enough voice for it, good for him. He played a supervillain named Gru, an Eastern-European man with a massive, hawkish nose. The char...

On Montreal and tragic poutine encounters

On Montreal and tragic poutine encounters

Daltrey Burris

April 8, 2016


Filed under Modest Proposals, Opinion

One of the perks of attending the University of Vermont is its proximity to Canada, a terrifying place where speeds are measured in thousands of meters per hour and milk comes in plastic bags. The main reason anyone braves these dreadful conditions is the legal drinking age, allowing almost a...

Gary Derr, revealed

Daltrey Burris

April 7, 2015


Filed under Modest Proposals, Opinion

“Eureka!” The words resounded harshly against the sterile, eggshell-colored walls of the laboratory. Gary Derr shoved various half-empty alembics to the side and scribbled feverishly into the scrap ledgers of his UVM brand, recycled, one-subject notebook. After years of research in the sub-basement...

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