Unpopular opinion: You don’t have to marry a romantic partner, marry your best friend instead
May 7, 2021
It is my dream to get married in Las Vegas by an Elvis impersonator while wearing a 50s style wedding dress.
Now, I’ve always pictured the romantic love of my life to be waiting at the end of the aisle, but lately my thoughts of who could be standing at the end of the aisle has changed.
In a March 1 viral TikTok with 5.9 million views, Jay Guercio said that a misconception people have about her marriage is that she and her spouse are romantically involved.
“My best friend and I of eight years got married…we did this because we wanted to raise kids together. We wanted to live our lives by each other’s side,” she said.
I never really seriously considered that I could marry my best friend till I saw this TikTok. It should be normalized to marry your best friend.
And by best friend, I don’t mean your romantic partner who you say is your “best friend.” No, I mean your bestie.
The one you know who will always have your back. That person you can get sloshed with and watch stupid K-pop funny moments compilation YouTube videos with. That person you can tell all your insecurities and embarrassing stories to.
I think that lots of people get stuck on thinking that love and marriage have to be romantic. But it doesn’t have to be. My best friend—apart from my family—has to be the most important person to me. I absolutely cannot imagine a life without her.
Marriage is about love and commitment. It’s a promise to each other. So, why do we only think about love and commitment as being romantic?
Love can be platonic. Commitment can be platonic too. So, how could anyone think it would be weird to marry your bestie?
You may not have romantic or sexual feelings for each other, but you want to have this person by your side for the rest of your life, and I think that’s enough of a reason to consider marriage.
“I trust her. I appreciate her. We work together. We are partners. We make decisions together,” Guercio said in the same TikTok.
“People are beginning to be more open to relationship dynamics that they design to meet their needs, instead of sticking to the status quo just because that is what is expected of them,” Jodi Erin Williams, a licensed professional counselor and certified sex therapist said in a March 11 Bustle article.
This type of platonic marriage isn’t for everyone as many of you probably want to marry a romantic partner, but for many, marrying platonically can be safer.
“Marrying your best friend is a safe option for some, particularly if you’re more than ready to settle down, find financial security, or have kids,” dating expert Maria Sullivan said to Bustle.
My bestie and I have joked about getting married, especially if our romantic lives don’t work out, but when really thinking about it, it’s not a bad idea at all.
We have aligned values and goals and understand each other so well. We already see a life together and consider ourselves to be soulmates, so maybe somewhere along the line, we may consider getting married.
I know that many of you may be turned off at the thought of marriage, but it comes with tons of legal benefits. You and your bestie can file joint taxes. This can really help if you make more than your bestie as you could end up paying less taxes.
There are also legal decision-making benefits to being married as your spouse can become a next-of-kin and grant the ability to make medical decisions if you become sick or disabled.
These benefits make marrying your bestie sound like an even better option, as your commitment to each other is legally recognized.
Also, if you don’t have health insurance and your bestie does, you can get on their insurance plan. This way you can hang out with your bestie all the time and go to insured doctors appointments.
I bet your bestie would want you to stay healthy to have life long fun with you.
While there are many things to worry about when marrying your bestie, just like when marrying a romantic partner, one thing you two won’t have to worry about with a platonic marriage is having romance issues.
Williams said that many romantic marriages start having problems when it becomes hard to keep the romance alive, as arguments often sprout from unmet expectations, cheating, jealousy, loss of interest, etc. When partners are platonic, these arguments are less likely to occur.
We are now realizing that we don’t need a romantic partner to plan a future with. A marriage is not only about romance and sex, but so much more.
It’s about who would stick by your side in sickness and in health and who you would do that for. And if that sounds like you and your bestie, maybe you two are marriage material.
Sometimes, the perfect person for you is your bestie who you can karaoke 2000s hits with at 3:00 a.m. and have inside jokes with that only you two can understand.
Through marriage, you guys can truly be best friends forever.