Bring back Heelys – Erika Tally
Maybe it’s my vendetta against the 15 or so deranged cyclists who have nearly flattened me on the way to class, but it seems like a switch in our modes of transportation is much overdue.
I propose that in the spirit of the back-to-school season—ignore that it is already October—and as a solution to these threatening two-wheeled commuters, we should bring back Heelys.
As some background for younger students among us, Heelys were a technological marvel that combined the chunkiness of a skater shoe with an incredibly safe mechanism that allows wearers to deploy retractable wheels from the heel, enabling them to roll around campus with ease.
For anyone who went to elementary school between 2000 and 2010, Heelys are a true blast from the past. There is no better way to scoot to class while avoiding the chore of carting around a skateboard or, for my student-athletes out there, that obnoxious electric scooter.
With the recent resurgence of other Y2K fashions, Heelys logically seem like the next trend to bring back. There’s also the added benefit of being adults now, a welcome fact for those banned from wearing the footwear by their oppressive 2nd-grade teachers.
Collectively, let’s decide to revisit those crisp, early-2000s fall mornings without the threat of a tragic road accident. While you’re at it, add a sleeve of Silly Bandz and get ready to trade your Pokémon cards, because we’re in college now, baby. Plus, you’ll look “wheely” cool.
Bring back socks with sandals – Maggie O’Shea
With the changing leaves and shifting seasons comes the crisp fall weather. This also means a new season for fashion, outfits and rising trends. You may find yourself stuck in the summer outfits mindset with shorts, t-shirts and sandals. To streamline this transition, try modifying your summer outfits to fit the chilly fall air.
Wear funky socks with sandals. Pick out your silliest socks and throw them on under your favorite pair of sandals, and spice up your outfit for class. Wearing socks with sandals is a controversial fashion statement, and this makes it all the more fun to bring back this fall season.
This is the perfect fashion trend for someone who is struggling to let go of their favorite pair of summer sandals come fall but doesn’t want to brave having their toes out during lecture.
Be sure to wear your bright pattern socks proudly around campus, and maybe you even wear socks with flip flops or with Chacos. Get crazy with it—fall is the time to be cozy and fashionable.
Whether you choose to be brave and embrace funky socks with sandals or come up with your own idea, the best way to transition from summer to fall outfits is to do a little bit of both.
Bring back a frightening fall – Natalie Richardson-Wymore
As we begin October, temperatures are finally dipping below 70 degrees and the leaves are timidly beginning to change into those famous reds, oranges and yellows. Personally, my favorite part of the autumnal season is not the apple picking or the “leaf peeping” pervs or the scarf wearing. It is, without a doubt, Halloween—or, more specifically, the holiday’s spirit.
Don’t get me wrong, the day itself is a blast: dressing up, indulging your sweet-tooth and avoiding the handsy frat guy dressed as Jeremy Allen White with a tight white t-shirt like a damn slut. I love how all 31 days of October are, by nature, creepy. The nights are longer, you’ve got the most recent horror movie you’ve seen on your mind and obviously there’s a perpetual full moon.
My proposition for a fall resurgence is a full commitment to being a creep and a freak. Being unabashedly spooky all hours of both the day and night. Hell, let it bleed into November. The first day of winter isn’t until December 21st, and I wholeheartedly believe in campy 80s slashers and hiding behind doors to scare your friends, shouting “REDRUM” well past the falling of the leaves.
Death to hiking Mansfield to see the fall foliage, I’m gonna spend my weekends slinking through campus listening to Gregorian chants and hanging around the most haunted building in all of Vermont, Converse Hall.
Bring back being off-putting – Jessica Mazzola
The phrase “to be cringe is to be free” has radically changed my life in more ways than one, and I hope it inspires you to change yours as well this fall season.
In general, life becomes so much more fun when you start acting like a lab experiment in public.
Especially for girls, we’re often taught to blend into the background and be as quiet and polite as possible like our social lives depend on it. But the truth is, life is so unserious.
Take absolutely any sport for example and really think about what they’re doing—hitting a ball with sticks, kicking a ball, creatively throwing a ball in the air—and it all becomes so silly.
Next time someone’s really mad at you, really look at their face; it gets all bunched up and red and sometimes they stick out their bottom row of teeth—so, so silly. Or, just look at any animal doing anything ever. The point is, everything is unserious and you should be too.
Especially as we make the steady climb into eternal winter, life may get a little drab, and this is a quick solution to add some color to your day.
So loudly make those jokes only 13-year-old boys would make, burst out into song or even a little jig in public, hold people’s toes under the bathroom stall—be whatever it is to be a little annoying and off-putting, because that’s better than being boring.
Obviously, there is a fine line between being silly and just being an obnoxious asshole. But I would love to see a little harmless weirdness around campus this fall. Is this all a ploy to see people embarrass themselves and have more campus celebrities to talk about? You’ll have to find out for yourself.
‘Tis the season for Catholic guilt – Elizabeth Lockwood
Non-Catholics, don’t feel discouraged. Catholic guilt is for all and even as a Jewish woman, I feel it often and intensely.
This fall, take some inspiration from the foliage and turn an embarrassing shade of red while reminiscing on your past missteps. Stare longingly into the sky in search of a disappointed face of authority. Salivate over the thought of communion wafers.
For many, Catholic guilt doesn’t come naturally, but it is remarkably easy to learn and remarkably difficult to shake once you have it down.
Start looking for sins in your daily life and allow them to consume you. Remember that time you slept through your 8 a.m. class? Sloth is a sin. Remember last weekend’s trip to Sputie’s? Drunkenness. Sin. Remember when you downloaded Tinder “just for fun”? Lust. Sin.
Sin is an inescapable part of college life. I’m not saying you should repent, but as the air grows colder, allow your heart to follow by punishing your own human instincts with crushing guilt. Whether you are atheist, Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, Protestant or Agnostic, Catholic guilt doesn’t discriminate. Sit back and indulge.
It’s time to bring back analog wristwatches – Emily Siess
The days are getting shorter and the evenings are getting darker. We are all becoming more conscious of the time, lest we get caught in the dark with the rampant skunks. Pulling out your phone to check the time is cumbersome and digital watches can pose a threat to certain outfits.
I come to you with a solution. Walk yourself down to a vintage market and pick up an analog wristwatch. Stylish, classy and practical, people have been wearing various styles of these watches since the 19th century. Don’t let the over two-hundred-year trend die out.
This timeless accessory can be modified to compliment absolutely any outfit. With some analog wristwatches, you can switch out the wristband at your inclination. Attach a leather band to match your favorite belt or perhaps a metal band to imitate your jewelry. Analog watches can simply melt and blend into your everyday attire.
Don’t let the analog aspect of these watches intimidate you. It may be tempting to resort to the simplicity of a digital clock, however, there is something satisfying about watching the minute and hour hand wipe the day away.
Now, browse the nearest estate sale or raid your mother’s jewelry box and find yourself an analog wristwatch. Let’s put some time into our outfits this fall.
