The Vermont Cynic

Open Letters To Celebrities

March 10, 2003


Filed under Archives, Life

Dear Inspector Arnold, Three men walk into a bar. One of the men walks up to the bar and comes back to his two friends with three shots of tequila. They thanked him and took the shots. He then waved to the bartender and three more shot were sent over. After the fifth round of shots one of the men asked...

Montreal Dance Sensation Compagnie Marie Chouinard to Perform at The Flynn

March 10, 2003


Filed under Archives, Arts

Evoking Cubist paintings, Egyptian friezes, primitive rituals, and baby birds, the dances of Montreal choreographer Marie Chouinard never cease to provoke and astound. Pushing their bodies to the limit, 10 exceptional dancers explore physiological architecture, probing the forces and tensions within us...

Presidential And Vice-Presidential Candidate Bios

March 3, 2003


Filed under Archives, Campus Life, Life

This week Cynic is running bios of candidates for the posts of President and Vice-President of the Student Government Association. Next week the Cynic will officially endorse one candidate for president and one for Vice-president. All candidates were asked the same question: WHAT DO YOU THINK IS TH...

The Fleming Museum Presents: Lou Reed

Press Release

March 3, 2003


Filed under Archives, Arts

The Fleming Museum and Borderline Irreverent Productions announce a rare performance by the legendary leader of The Velvet Underground, Lou Reed. The concert is an extension of the Fleming Museum's public programming for the exhibition Andy Warhol Work and Play, which recently brought Warhol collaborator an...

Mullet Hunt: A True Story

Andrew Woods

March 3, 2003


Filed under Archives, Life

A Wisconsin waterfall. A '7'. 10-90 (changes in numbers proportion to the amount of hair on top and in the back), manny, ape drape, beaver paddle, Canadian passport, yep-nope. All synonyms for a dangerous hairstyle known as a mullet (pronounced MU-Lay). Mullets exist in a dark world, one where reason an...

Mullet Hunt: A True Story

Andrew Woods

March 3, 2003


Filed under Archives, Life

A Wisconsin waterfall. A '7'. 10-90 (changes in numbers proportion to the amount of hair on top and in the back), manny, ape drape, beaver paddle, Canadian passport, yep-nope. All synonyms for a dangerous hairstyle known as a mullet (pronounced MU-Lay). Mullets exist in a dark world, one where reason an...

Hello, How Are You, Won’t You Tell Me Your Name?

Evan Lang

March 3, 2003


Filed under Archives, Life

A few days ago, I was in the library when I made eye contact with a face that was not foreign to my memory. Well, over a year ago we had engaged in a short conversation pertaining to an interest that we both shared. As I saw my path to the exit being blocked by this person whom I will call "Pat...

Go West, Young Man

February 24, 2003


Filed under Archives, Life

I felt like Father Winter was sending me a message. It was a nasty but to the point message in the form of harsh negative temperatures and back wrenching snow shoveling. "Go West. Goooo West. San Diego..." The whispering voice would wake me up at night and cause me to bolt upright in my bunk. Go West? San...

UVM Theatre Presents: Bob Durkin’s COLE

February 24, 2003


Filed under Archives, Arts

Bob Durkin returns to The UVM Theatre on the heels of launching a national tour of Barry Manilow's Copacabana, now on a cross-country trip to one hundred cities in seventeen weeks. He's happy to be back. "I love it up here," Durkin says, "and I like what this department strives to do. The dedication of...

High Concert Ticket Prices Common Gripe

February 24, 2003


Filed under Archives, Life

Claypool? Rock on! J-5? Rock on! Lou Reed? Rock on! Anywhere from between twenty-five to fifty dollars for a show at your school? It would seem this does not rock nearly as hard. "We should be getting a bigger discount as students because our student organizations are putting the shows on for us...

Don’t Mess Wit’ Da Bes’

February 24, 2003


Filed under Archives, Life

This is a joke. Don't take it seriously. A'ight, ya'll. For real, there are some chumps walkin' amongst us, trying to be like me. Every day, one of my boys comes up to me like, "Yo, I just seen this kid look just like you!," enough so that I needs to take a stand. To the fool out there who rocks ...

Open Letters to Celebrities

February 24, 2003


Filed under Archives, Life

Dear Master Selleck, It's not often that I have the opportunity to address a thespian of your grade. Usually I would have to suffer celebrities of a far lesser caliber (I'm pointing in your direction Nicholas Cage; don't think you're off the hook either, Fred Savage), but not today! Today I address a...

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