There are spider webs in the aisles of Target, jack-o-lanterns on our front porches and ghost-shaped Reese’s melting in our backpacks. Something big is coming.
As Halloween falls into our weekend plans, the culture staff has some thoughts to share on the “sexy-fying” of the personas we choose to adopt.
Should not: “sinful sister” — Paige Bencken
Although the juxtaposition of the costume and what it represents makes for a fun and scandalous outfit, the fun police are here, and I am taking prisoners.
A woman who turns to consecration and receives a “habit”—or what we call “nun clothes”—wears it in part because they conceal her identity and therefore give her privacy, preventing her from being sexualized.
A “naughty nun” trivializes and sexualizes this one role a woman can adopt in modern society to be free from those norms. Pick another costume.
Should be: sensual Garfield — Kendall Evans
Hear me out—you’re at a house party of a friend of a friend of a friend, and feel a familiar comforting texture brush past you and you’re reminded of your childhood cat, Fluffy. You turn around and come face to face with an orange, striped and sensual Garfield.
I say this from a body-positive stance: I want to see sexy Garfield. I’m spearheading a movement of sorts. A cat whose only hobby is to eat lasagna, who is portrayed as lazy and overweight can embrace his body just like everyone else on Halloween.
Should not be: crop top angels — Kendall Evans
I see your last-minute angel costume with your Walmart wings, and I raise you a biblically accurate, full-coverage, head-to-toe eyeball extravaganza.
I yearn to see amorphous figures walking down Pearl Street heading to Radio Bean. What happened to accuracy and love of the game, is what I wanna know. I’m bored.
I’m bored of seeing the same white crop top walk towards me every year while I’m accosted as to what I’m supposed to be. I want to see these studio art minors put to use on Hallows Eve.
Should be: The Grinch — Maggie O’Shea
Maybe Halloween isn’t your favorite holiday, but you still want to be a part of the sexy costume trend. Get a jumpstart on your Christmas spirit, if you celebrate, and dress as a sexy Grinch.
This costume should be made sexy. I want to see this evil, lime green, stinky and fuzzy Christmas icon walking around downtown in a fuzzy green dress and an evil smile.
Maybe you have a friend dress as Santa. Maybe you have a friend dress as the Grinch’s dog, Max. Maybe you put reindeer antlers on the dog and have him pull you in a sled down Main Street.
However you interpret this costume, I want to see all of the sexy Grinches out on Halloweekend this year.
Should be: the Founding Fathers — Mackenzie Bender
You walk into a party full of strangers—time to make a great first impression. Grab some fishnets and short-shorts paired with a snatched waistcoat, and just to tie it all together, a powdered wig and some wrinkles made out of makeup.
Halloween gets so boring with the same sexy pirates or devils in tiny little skirts, you might as well be unique.
From George Washington to Thomas Jefferson, there are so many options. So grab your friends, grab your Declaration of Independence and walk in the freezing cold to some boring house party.
By the end of the night, so many people will start talking to you about this funky ensemble. Maybe you could even end up getting your five minutes of fame with people walking up to you and taking pictures.
Or, you could become those people singing the entirety of Hamilton as loud as possible in the middle of the sidewalk.
Should be: Abraham Lincoln — Amelia Duffy
Baberaham Lincoln is not only one of the greatest presidents of American history, but he was one irresistible hunk.
Surely the tallest man of his time, that hat might have been overkill. Just imagine him in the dim lighting of his log cabin, with those sexy suspenders.
So this Halloween, show a little—or a lot—of leg, and tip your extreme hat to your loyal constituents.
With the emergence of the eccentric and beautiful Jack Schlossberg, everyone and their grandmother is reminiscing about the hottest president in American history, JFK.
Don’t make a mistake with this costume; assassination chic is not, and never will be, in.
“Ask not what this Halloween can do for you—ask what you can do this Halloween.”
Should not be: firefighter — Amelia Duffy
It’s Halloween night, and after nine White Claws, I spot flames licking up a house party down the street. Scanning the crowd I see a yellow and red beacon in the night: a fireman hat. Just the right person for the job but unfortunately, he’s too sexy.
No shirt, just suspenders and Carhartt jeans.
Firefighters need proper gear, so if you’re considering honoring our brave souls, please put on some fire-resistant clothing.
