Finding beauty in your rolls and curves


I am fat. Now before you go and counter my statement with, “You are curvy” or, my personal favorite, “You are not fat, you are beautiful,” as if being fat is synonymous with ugly.

The truth is I am 5’8”, 250 pounds, and a size 20. I am fat.

I am sure in your head you are picturing me sitting on my couch, eating pita chips and watching “Teen Mom” all day.

Now, while I can assure you that does happen, it is not the only thing I do.

Truth is, I live a pretty healthy lifestyle.

I work out four times a week, play roller derby, eat moderately well and walk everywhere. I am by no means the fat, lazy pig everyone wants to paint me as.

“But why don’t you go on a diet?” That is a reasonable question.

My response is: that is what got me here in the first place.

I have an eating disorder caused by excessive dieting. My desire to be thin and loved brought me to dieting as a solution.

And seeing how 95 percent of diets fail, causing people to regain the weight and more in one to five years, I wasn’t very good at it.

The thing I learned the hard way is that being thin and being happy are two very different things. I figured that if I just lost weight, my life would be better.

I would have a boyfriend, be the star of the volleyball team and have more friends. Soon, every failure I faced I blamed on my weight. Didn’t make the volleyball team: fat. Failed a test: fat. Lost my friends: fat. Didn’t get asked to prom: fat. Sad, right?

So where does that leave me today? Well, I still have an eating disorder that I struggle with every day. I still get down on myself and think, “If I just lost weight, I could _______.” Truth is I can do anything. I can be fat and still workout, play a sport, eat healthy, have friends, wear cute clothes, date and even have sex. Yes, have sex.

So the next time you get down on yourself and are thinking about how much better your life would be if you lost those pesky 15 pounds, look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I am one boss ass bitch who can do anything I want.”

Then go out and do it.