Sex and The Cynic: Why Do Couples Get Such a Bad Rap on Campus?

A common anthem among college students worldwide proclaims the necessity of singleness during our four years.

Everyone at one point has heard or even said that same overused cliché: “I just want to be single and have fun!”

For some reason or another, being in a relationship in college has become taboo. Being with someone has evolved into something comparable to being handcuffed, or even suffocated.

A girlfriend/boyfriend cramps our style, and the assumption that if you are single, you are getting laid at least every weekend dominates our sex life.

In addition, miraculously, a relationship in college consumes much more time than any normal relationship, and we are, as we firmly believe, without that time. Therefore, many students can’t let a having a special someone cut into the precious time we have outside of school set aside for doing things like sitting around.

Also adding to the disgust surrounding the idea of a relationship during college is the sudden increase in the affection we have for our friends. Hanging out with them is no longer enough. We must spend every waking hour with them, so as not to miss out on incredible friendships. All in all, a plethora of factors contribute to this phenomenon prevalent on campuses everywhere.

If you have not already guessed, the ideas behind the justification for defining relationships as burdensome are crap. They are based on a fantasy of what college should be like, and have little weight in reality.

Yet college kids continue to stand by this decree, and defend it to the death. More over, those who do see through the dream and go through with relationships are shunned, scorned, and scape-goated. They are cast as idiots who are missing out on the wonders of single life.

The truth is, however, none of these “wonders” hold water. Most kids who are single go home single at the end of the night.

Yes, they do score every now and then, but the occurrence is rare enough that it hardly makes for an ample sex life. While there are those who actually do sleep with a new person every weekend, it can only be assumed that more than half are seen as mistakes or worse, catastrophes, and do not leave the person with feelings of satisfaction. Most likely, just a nice STD.

In addition to this undying dedication to the fantasy is the moronic notion that if we were to attempt a relationship, we would no doubt find the one person who would cramp our style the most. That person would undeniably want to spend every moment together, and would never want to go out.

In other words, every college student would somehow find, and end up with, their worst nightmare.

It goes without saying that this theory is ludicrous. College students fail to realize that because most of us hold onto this ridiculous fantasy, most of us are looking for the same things in a relationship. We all want to go out to bars and parties, and we all need space from time to time, to name a few.

Thus, it turns out that while students claim that college is the worst time to date someone, it is in fact the best time. After college, we will all be thrown into the mix of life, and be lost in a sea of fish who all have different needs and desires.

Ironically, college is the only time in life when finding someone who wants what you want in a relationship