$80,000!

I sat in Gutterson on Friday night drenched in white clothing and trying to start a cheer of ‘Go Cats Go!’ I then looked at the scoreboard and read it correctly for the first time which led me to the harsh realization that we in fact were not ahead by seven goals. I sat down and picked up a game program hoping to take my mind of the score. I almost choked on my cold nachos when I read that UVM is trying to raise $80,000 for a new sound system in Gutterson Arena. $80,000? $80,000! Can we just talk about what you can do with $80,000?-You can buy 16,482 buffalo chicken wraps.-You can buy every student, faculty, staff and administrator a ticket to the Expos game and have Olympic Stadium’s first sellout.-You could eat 200,000 Cheddar Jalapeno Cup O’ Noodles and live happily ever after.-You could cover the entire damage bill done on Simpson 3 last year.-You could wash your clothes 32,000 times or pay the kid down your hall to do it for you until you are 34.-You could buy half of a 2003 Porsche Custom Boxster.-You could buy two box seats at the Red Sox, two Fenway Franks and two souvenir cups but still have to ask the guy next to you for his change because you will be 78 cents short.-You could buy 16,161 packages of socks (because the middle dryer in Simpson eats them).-You could get Joey McIntyre to play a concert at your next birthday party and Winona Ryder to come and steal your presents for free.-You could buy Frank Thomas.-You could buy the television rights to the 2004 WNBA Finals (ESPN will sell you the 2003 Finals for half of what they paid for it too).-You could buy 7,272 Steve Young Hallmark ornaments for your Christmas tree.-You could pay 93 copy editors to copy edit the Cynic.-You could buy 20 pairs of end zone tickets to the 2003 Super Bowl in San Diego or you could fly back and forth from Manchester, NH to San Diego 425 and a half times.-You could spend it very wisely and buy 1,400 nineteenth century Tibetan Flint Pouches from Sothbeys.com-You could team up with N’Sync’s Lance Bass and make sure he actually gets to the moon, and then leave him there.-You could give the every member of the UVM housekeeping staff a week of paid vacation for the next four years.-You could give all 523 full time faculty members a $160 pay raise for the year.-You could bring back both the Volleyball team and Men’s Track program into full force.-You could give three out-of-state students full academic scholarships to UVM. Now who wants a new sound system?