All Athletes Think Their Balls Feel the Coolest

When you think about athletes and sports and stuff, usually you don’t pay too much attention to what the balls feel like. When you think about it though, every sport has a different type of ball, and they all have totally different textures. It’s crazy. Take tennis for example, balls about the size of your fist (which I guess is pretty big, as balls go) that are green and fuzzy with lilte stripes on them. Try explaining that to someone who’s never seen tennis balls before. No really, try it. Good times. UVM tennis stallion Brendan Matthews says that he likes his balls the best because they’re so fuzzy, or hairy, if you will. His teammates agree that Matthews’ balls are in fact, the furriest of the furry. Soccer is one sport where fuzzy balls are not appreciated. UVM freshman soccer stud Cameron Lawler insists that his balls have to be smooth and perfectly round, without a hint of fur. “If I’m playing soccer, I really don’t want to be playing with a hairy ball.” Basketballs, with their orange-ish brown color and varying stages of bumpiness are, to my knowledge, the largest balls of all. One UVM basketballer, Geri Springer told this reporter that she actually LOVES how her balls feel. “When I’m running down the court, bouncing that ball up and down, its like we have a real connection, I turn it over and over in my hand and I feel like I could do it forever.” Springer has been playing basketball all her life and says that while she has tried out other balls, she’s positive that her’s feel the very coolest. The texture of a golf ball is also quite nice. Golfer’s like little-known Tiger Woods, Sam Sneed and Hillary Clinton all agree that golf balls feel the coolest because you can fit more than one in your hand. Clinton stated that “a ball in the hand is worth three in the bush.” Surprisingly enough, people who play sports without balls are adamamant that balls really don’t make the game. Benjamin Guest, UVM kayaker commented that “when I’m in the water, balls would just get in the way, that’s why I’m so glad I don’t have them.” So the consensus seems to be that everyone thinks his/her own balls feel the best, and you won’t convince them otherwise.