Dear Cynic, I did not laugh when I read the Cynic’s April Fool’s Issue. On the contrary, I was shocked and appalled when I read your tasteless jokes. Your so-called humor was not only racist and sexist, but also violent in nature. I believe that the seriousness and urgency of the topics you chose to joke about was completely overlooked. We live in a country where drug addictions, sexual assault, racism, and rape run rampant, yet you have the nerve to write about these topics jokingly. Have you ever been a victim of sexual assault? Have you ever had a family member or close friend suffer from a serious drug addiction, or die from an overdose? Have you ever been a survivor of rape or been given roofies unknowingly? These topics are not funny, and I am embarrassed to be represented by a newspaper, which makes light of this severity. I am deeply saddened by the lack of respect and intelligence that the cynic has exemplified in this April Fool’s issue. And I am not okay with my tuition money paying to waste paper by publishing hundreds of copies of trash.Sincerely, Heather Kahillundergraduate studentclass of 2004

Not a single article, photo or word in this issue is real in any way. It is merely for entertainment purposes. If you are offended at all by any content of this issue because you’ve taken it seriously, then you may just be a fool.