The University of Vermont's Independent Voice Since 1883

The Vermont Cynic

The University of Vermont's Independent Voice Since 1883

The Vermont Cynic

The University of Vermont's Independent Voice Since 1883

The Vermont Cynic

Back by Popular Demand…Weekly Horoscopes

Aries March 21- April 20 Slow down and chill out! Focus on relaxation techniques like yoga, progressive muscle relaxation, or going out for a solo hike in the mountains. Ditch your social circle for a few hours; you need to rely on yourself more this week. Go back to your roots, and act like a child when no one is looking. Finger paint, or make mud pies. Never forget that you can still be young and mature.Taurus April 21 – May 21 You are such a stubborn romantic. Taurus, those qualities are an oxymoron, but they’re you. Take a step back from such a dominant role with your partner or close friends. Close your eyes, and let someone catch you. A trust fall will remind you that being in control is not always healthy. Gemini May 22 – June 21 Please yourself before you please your parents. Break away from the constraining role they’ve assigned to you. Annihilate your inhibitions, and partake in an event that is impulsive. It will be invigorating and enriching. Freedom will peek out, looking for you. Once you can recognize your individuality, you will be an even better juggler of tasks. You epitomize balance, so take a few risks.Cancer June 22 – July 22 People have been frustrated by your ego this week. Remember that you need to be a talker and a listener. Small acts of kindness are cherished by your friends and will be reciprocated. Your organizational skills will pay off. Just slip on an emotional helmet, and a bombardment of issues will be resolved with few inner bruises. Leo July 23 – August 23 What a sweetie you are! Your selfless actions will be remembered by others, and they will impress even the grimmest of characters. Your kind, nurturing ways can get a person to divulge their most painful secrets. You are strong and sensitive at the same time. Not only do you help others deal with their stress, you conquer your own. Virgo Aug. 24 – Sept. 22 The perfectionism you unceasingly exhibit may lead to ulcers. The standards you have for your art and your work are nearly impossible to meet. Allow yourself to admit errors; then, force yourself to accept them. Once you truly appreciate your brilliance, you will be more fulfilled. Anything you produce will be good enough for yourself and others. When performing an act of creativity, a mistake will become the key to its magnificence.Libra Sept. 23 – Oct. 22 Talk is good for only so much. Go out and put your words into action. Volunteer at a local youth program or elderly facility. If that sounds too intense for you, join a club that embodies your goals for society. Remember to start small. Don’t drive yourself crazy with global issues, especially when you can’t think of the last time you talked to your family. First, connect with the ones you love.Scorpio Oct. 23 – Nov. 21 Have you been a grouch lately? If you find yourself mumbling profanities under your breath, you should consider an attitude make-over. You have already proved to yourself that you work well under pressure, but it may not make you the luminous person you can be. Even if you want to throw a punch instead of attempt a smile, just grin. Savor your days!Sagittarius Nov. 22 – Dec. 21 Pick yourself up, my love! Life is not as tough as it seems. Try not to dwell on conflicts with friends. Staying positive is the only cure for you. Socialize instead of hibernating. An engaging conversation with an older woman is bound to satisfy your inner passion for being amused by strangers. Listen to the stories of others; they will make you tell your own. Capricorn Dec. 22 – Jan.20 Sleep is crucial to the way you function and think. Organize your time, and you will be able to snooze longer. If you work during the day and play at night, you will achieve personal equilibrium. One of your spontaneous night jaunts around town will toss you into the path of excitement and sensuality…literally. Even if you wear sturdy shoes, you will bump into one of your soulmates.Aquarius Jan. 21 – Feb. 19 You need space to roam this week, without any attachments to people or intangible pressures. But you will have to face your life eventually. You can snowboard away from problems with the one you love, but they will not be resolved without confrontation. It will be brutal but well worth it in the end. Pisces Feb. 20 – March 20 Celebrate this glorious month of Pisces’ birthdays! You will drink like a fish. Take extra water to rejuvenate your exercise energy, and remember that it will ease your hangovers. This will be a prime week of play dates. Cooking together will be the setting of your friendship bonding sessions. The topic of your favorite veggie being broccoli, while your friends like carrots, will catapult itself into existential babbling. Write down these conversations later. They may be useful to you in the future.

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Back by Popular Demand…Weekly Horoscopes