Drop the Crocs

So this is not the most admirable job in the universe, that I know. I am aware that writing a weekly column on fashion will not help solve any social problems (unless you agree with me and think that chunky shoes ARE a serious social problem), nor will it make me a more respectable human being. Still, I will do my best to fulfill my obligations as a whistle blower for poor color coordination, lack of originality and bad fashion sense in general. This week I would like to address a general syndrome that has been affecting the always unhip closets of UVMers everywhere: Crocs. You know what I’m talking about, those rubber clogs that should be buried somewhere deep in your mom’s garden and as far away from my eyes as possible. These strange forms of footwear are not only hideous, being made of 100% rubber and of dubious colors, but they also have strange holes all over them, making them extremely impractical. They are not warm and the holes make your feet wet and dirty. Before this summer I did not have the pleasure of seeing a pair of these and, to be honest, I think the world was a better place. Why anyone past the age of four chooses to wear these shoes is beyond my comprehension, and I do not plan on understanding. All I hope is that they soon return to the state of obscure oblivion where they came from.