The Cynic is proud to introduce the newest advice column for all of your important queries: Dr. Dewey is here to solve all of your important problems that you’re afraid to ask your mom, your R.A. and your friends. Don’t worry, you’re secret is safe with us. Dear Dr. Dewey: I have a problem, but I’m afraid to tell anyone. My roommate, although overall a really great roommate, is constantly undressing without warning, in front of me. While she seems very comfortable with it, in fact she has conversations with me while undressing, I find it somewhat unnerving. She says she comes from a family where nudity is embraced and encouraged, and claims she wanders around her home in the buff. I’ve talked to her about it and have expressed my concern, butshe just scoffed at the idea. I feel weird discussing this with anyone but you, Dr. Dewey. Please help me with this problem, I don’t know how much longer I can live like this. -Worried in WillsDear Worried: Wow, there a few issues here. The fact that she continues to do this after you’ve discussed it with her, and the fact you have a problem with it. If she hasn’t changed now, then she won’t change ever. If you don’t feel like moving out, then you’ll have to work out a system or deal with the randomness. If you’re not into softcore, then avert your eyes or be pleasantly surprised. Dear Dr. Dewey: I have a query, and I don’t know about how to solve it. I knew you would know the answer, so I am begging for an explanation. Why, might I ask, is my math class in the dairy building and my political science class is in the nursing buidling, making trekking across campus in the wind and snow quite challenging. Is this some new way for all of us to explore other colleges, so I can learn about how to butcher a cow during math? It smells funny and makes weird noises, and I’m getting scared. Stop my nightmares. -Scared in SimpsonDear Scared: I have no advice for this, because I don’t understand it myself. I do believe that you can thank the administration for your new knowledge of cow dismantlement. To me, this sounds like what I fondly refer to as centralization. China has similar policies, which makes perfect sense since China and UVM are structured similarly. My only advice: buy some long underwear and plug your nose.Have a question that no one else wants to answer? Send it to us at [email protected]
