How Does Your Dorm Rate?

Dorm life at UVM can be a lot of fun, but they can also really suck with the “proactive” police always on patrol, and the dorms being spread out all over campus. But, the dorms are still home to many of us so it is nice to know what dorms have the most or least on a variety of topics. This “subjective” look should help you do that. The dorm with the most binge-drinkers: Harris/Millis. Harris/Millis as most know is basically an all freshman dorm. As freshman they may not have a constant hook-up, but when they’re hooked up they like to go all out. These freshman want to experience college, and they sure do by staying in their dorm on a Friday night getting belligerently drunk off a case of cheap beer or a handle of vodka that tastes like acetone. The dorm with the least amount of alcohol consumed:Redstone S.A.F.E. house, but that’s too obvious so the VC Staff has decided to choose Living/Learning. True, many residents of L & L enjoy throwing a few back every once in a while, but the per capita alcohol consumption seems to be a bit below the UVM standard. The dorm with the most pot smokers:Chittenden. The Chitty kids may not be the biggest heads on campus, but their rooms always seem to lack the proper ventilation causing the floors to have a permanent skunky odor. The dorm with the most drugs:Wills. Wills tops this category mainly because of two very large busts earlier this year. Adding to that there seems to be a large percent of Wills residents whose favorite pastime is the frying of brain cells in the name of mind expansion. The dorm one is most likely to get away with stuff in: Living/Learning. The A & E Editor might disagree, but for the most part the residents of L & L get away with a lot giving the bedrooms are far away from the suite’s entrance. Most sexually active dorm Harris/Millis. Harris/Millis has already taken top place for dorm with the most binge drinking, so the fact that it is the most sexually active dorm on campus is no surprise. Think about it, a bunch of horny freshman on co-ed floors. Most sexually inactive dorm: Jeanne Mance. Do you know anyone who lives in Jeanne Mance? Didn’t think so. Also given the fact that kids are willing to loan graphing calculators to random girls simply because they think she’s hot. Not that’s not being nice, that’s a sign of desperation and sexual desperation is the tell tale sign of sexual inactivity. Most male friendly dorm: Simpson. Why Simpson? Who knows? Who’s idea was it to pick Simpson? Most female friendly dorm: Tupper. Two floors of girls in the same building with four floors of guys. The floors are not co-ed so the ladies do not have to worry about guys seeing the way they look when they’re fresh out of bed, or when they freak out about their roommate forgetting to record Friends. The dreadiest dorm: Slade. Surprise! To be fair only four of the twenty-four who reside their have dreads, but what other dorm can boast 16.6 percent of its residents have dreads. Plus, when it comes to home cooked vegetarian and vegan dinners Slade is where it’s at. The smartest dorm: Wright. With a very high concentration of Vermont Scholars and a minimum GPA of 3.0, Wright is the place for you if you’re a “smart kid.”The dorm most like a real world episode: Buckham. The residents of Buckham become very close to one another, giving the fact they are secluded from the rest of campus. The closeness doesn’t create a unity within the dorm it just creates a lot of drama. It’s a dorm where everyone knows everything about everyone.