J-Walker Faces Huge Fines

Joshua David Seitz, a senior at UVM, has been known to cause a bit of trouble around Burlington.

Seitz not only skips class and drinks on school nights, but he plays guitar in a heavy metal band (“Tin Bitch”), sported an impressive mullet around campus for several weeks, and has been known to be a heartbreaker, especially of young and innocent girls.

On December 1st, however, Seitz was behaving himself and minding his own business. As a resident of College Street, he walks right by Waterman on his way to campus everyday.

At approximately 9:00 AM, Seitz was crossed South Prospect Street directly in front of Waterman. The traffic light turned green, but upon realizing his friend, Dan, was the first car in line, Seitz decided to cross the street anyway.

He displayed what he described as “Charles Manson-esque” faces to Dan, giggling as he cut him off and walked briskly across the street.

Seitz reached University Heights at around 9:03, after cutting across the campus green. As he passed Pam’s food truck, he saw a UVM police officer screech up to the sidewalk with sirens shining wildly. Officer Henry screamed out “YOU! Come here!” Seitz, a veteran of legal skirmishes, was surprised.Ê He had no idea what he could possibly have done wrong. It was only 9:00 in the morning, after all.

Officer Henry proceeded to write Seitz an $80 ticket, for “crossing at the crosswalk.”

While the minimum fine for J-walking in the state of Vermont is a measly $20, the maximum is a whopping $1,172.

Seitz, Henry said, was lucky for getting off at a fine under $100. Many students passed by while Seitz was speaking with Officer Henry. They asked what happened, and Seitz facetiously responded “He found my crack pipe!Ê And my crack!”

These comments further disgruntled Officer Henry, who warned him that while he was getting off on a civil offense, his violation could easily be declared a more offensive (financially and legally) state crime.

Seitz still didn’t understand what he had done wrong. Henry explained to him that he had J-walked.

Seitz has decided to contest his ticket.Ê His ultimate goal is to bring his violation to trial by jury, a process that he thinks will “cost the state as much in time and money as the ridiculous violation has caused me in stress and frustration.”