The upside of rhetoric

We, as college students walk around every day with our ipods on at full blast, hoping to tune out the world that we’ve come to know within the past few years, months or even days. We listen to music that makes us feel good, because we know that class isn’t going to do that for us, and that crush that we’ve had for so long – the one that’s going nowhere – Yeah, that’s not going cheer us up either. We get nervous when walking around campus by ourselves, therefore, ipods and cell phones are a convenient distraction from the world around us. These expensive toys are great for avoiding eye contact and pretending you’re a more interesting person. It’s like saying to the world, “want to feel like you have a bigger dick or if that’s not an option, a bigger ego?” As for cell phones, do you ever notice that as soon as people depart from their friends while walking to class, they pick up their cell phones and pretend to be doing something enthralling? It’s because, as a society, we have to remain appealing to the general public, more specifically to the opposite sex, at all points during the day. The clothes we wear, the way we talk, the phones we have, the mp3 players; it’s like a guy looking at another guy at the urinals and saying, “not bad but do you have the new chocolate cell phone by LG?” College is like a hypothetical orgy. Everyone’s thinking about sex at the same time but not everyone gets naked in public. Except for, of course Colby Eck. Therefore we must remain appealing to the general public and more importantly, the opposite sex at all times. It’s amazing that so many people from so many places do the same exact things. Watch someone that has been walking by themselves with no means of interaction or entertainment for more than 30 seconds. They are mostly dead-pan or look like they have a stick up their butt. Sometimes it’s because they failed a test or forgot something in their room. Or, they might actually have a stick up their butt. It’s amazing what kind of transformation effect a cell phone has on these people. One minute they resemble Todd from the Wedding Crashers and when the cell phone comes out they automatically turn into the coolest person in the world. Because now they have something to do and something to make them look like a more exciting person. Who are we doing this for? Do we really think that at a party on Friday night, the boy of our dreams is going come up to you and say, “hey, I know you. I was walking behind you to class the other day, you had the most amazing conversation with your friend about how you like being on the bottom.” If that happened, the next place you’d stop wouldn’t be Sig Ep, it would be the police station for a restraining order. Why do we always need to be entertained? So we can show other people how interesting we are? Or is it that we can’t be in our own heads for more than a minute because then the voices start talking?