You spill red wineYou and your friends have decided to go for classy and you’re drinking red wine (okay, so it’s $5 wine out of plastic cups, but the sentiment stands). The booze is flowing, the pizza’s disappearing, and all of a sudden your friend reaches over everyone to grab the last slice. As if in slow motion, the wine spills all over your table, your floor, and your new shirt. First order of business: Don’t panic. Once you’ve got that under control, dealing with the rest is easy. Mix a tablespoon of hydrogen peroxide and a tablespoon of detergent. With a sponge, gently blot the fabric. Then toss it in the washing machine. As for any wooden surfaces, Murphy’s Oil Soap is a must-have. In fact, every household DOES have some, but your dorm room might not. It’s less than five dollars and you can grab it on your next Ramen run to Hannaford’s.Don’t have hydrogen peroxide or Murphy’s Oil Soap? Not interested in buying it? Well, do your best with paper towels and don’t worry so much. You’re in college. Besides, haven’t you always wanted a pink table?You nicked yourself while shavingYou’ve cut yourself while shaving, and now you’re stuck with a little, painful cut that seems as though it won’t stop bleeding until you need a transfusion. Fear not! There is a way to cauterize the wound. Press an ice cube on it for about two minutes. Then put an antibiotic lotion to prevent infection, and top it off with a band-aid. If the nick is on your face, please don’t worry about the facial band-aid look: Nelly himself rocks it, and the man is full of “pimp juice.”The Grundle’s Rice Krispie Treats are staleYes, word on the street is that the Grundle only makes Rice Krispie Treats on alternating days, leaving thousands of oppressed UVM students to munch unhappily on stale dessert. You can sit at the dining hall and suffer in silence, or you can take action.Here’s how you make Rice Krispie Treats in your very own dorm room. You’ll need Rice Krispies, butter and marshmallow, pour yourself a bowl of said treats and add 2 spoonfuls of butter. Then toss in 3 or 4 large marsh?mallows. Heat for 1 minute. Mix well. Consume. Adjust measurements according to personal taste.You drop your cell in the toiletYou’re answering a text message while, er, taking care of business (don’t worry, no one’s judging) and all of a sudden your hand slips. You have become just another statistic: a person who has dropped their cell-phone in the toilet. First of all, strap on some latex gloves and get it out of there. If you don’t have latex, use tongs. If you don’t have tongs, you better just close your eyes, take the plunge, and then disinfect like none other.Once you’ve got the phone, remove the battery and the SIM card. Dry them off with paper towels and go to a repair store, where they can dry the inner parts.Or, depending on how much the repairs cost, a new phone could be worth it. Preferably one of those new waterproof ones they’re manufacturing in South Korea.You can’t find music you loveYour friends are more than willing to make you a mix, but they only like [insert annoying emo bands, experimental/indie music, gangsta, or whatever type of music you find particularly distasteful]. Go to http://www.pandora.com, a site that finds you music based on you like. You can make radio stations based on either a song or an artist that you love, and you can create as many as you want. Plus, it’s all free. You can find new music to download or just play a song you’ll most likely enjoy without paying a dollar.Your friend gets sick from drinkingYou’re coming back from a party and your friend appears to be dangerously drunk. Friend duties require you to do more than simply hold their hair back or make fun of their crazy antics. When they pass out on the couch, check for these signs of alcohol poisoning: bluish or clammy skin and weird breathing (less than 8 breaths per minute or more than 10 seconds between them). If these symptoms have not manifested themselves, keep prodding them every hour or so to make sure they’re responsive, and turn them on their side to prevent choking on their own vomit in their sleep. If you do suspect alcohol poisoning, call the police or the hospital.