West Coast Sports: There’s no “U” in Winning, Only Two “Me’s”

In this world of immeasurable indifference and constant whatevers, I like to take a short, very short, moment to reflect on those things that truly make my life worth living. The things that cause me to look into the sky and see it bluer than ever and view the grass greener and more plush. Some of the things on this short and elite list are, Heath Bar ice cream, cologne samples in magazines and bobblehead dolls. But topping this list is the one true thing in life that makes my heart beat a little bit faster: I love winning. I love winning and I love winning at any cost. I love watching, being a part of, hearing about, dreaming of and thinking about winning. I love beating a four-person team in broomball at 11:15 at night when I am on a full roster. I have no problem kicking homerun after homerun after homerun against 11 and 12 year-olds for whom I am a summer camp counselor. It is well worth it to spend twice as much time in the bathroom as it takes me to race my best friend in the “Fastest Footlong Race” at Subway. I wouldn’t even flinch at the opportunity go watch Pedro Martinez strikeout 16 Yankees. It makes me smile to watch any team playing against the Yankees come out victorious. I would have stepped over my own mother to win a high school hockey state championship. I race my dog to the tennis ball after I throw it to him in the water and beat him with no remorse. A tear came to my eye while I watched Vermont Men’s Basketball win the America East basketball title in the last 5.4 seconds over Boston University. I love watching the Oscars and correctly picking that guy with the nose for the Best Actor award. I have a hard time holding back a huge smile when I beat the 84 year-old off the line who is driving the minivan. It was like a birthday gift to me when I randomly decided to go to a Women’s Hockey game and they got their only home win of last season. I still revel in my victory in the Burger King Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles coloring contest in 1988 where I won a month’s supply of Jr. Cheeseburgers. I love being the first to the shower at 7:14 in the morning in a house of four dudes who wake up at 7:15. I celebrated like I was sitting courtside next to Nickelson last year when the Lakers won their third straight NBA Championship. I love being the first to shout out the name of the third baseman for the 1960 Pirates: Don Hoke. I would starve myself for a week to make a lower weight class in the intramural horseshoe tournament just to gain an edge over the much feared shoe thrower, Karla Flanders. I developed a huge crush on UCONN Huskies Italian superstar, Diana Taurasi solely because she led her team to 71 straight victories; that’s a lot of winning! I developed a huge crush on Tiger Woods when he reeled off six straight PGA tour victories two years ago that I am still trying to work off. When I mow my lawn I have to check my neighbors’ lawns to make sure that mine has the best design. I love knowing that I love winning so much. But what I love the most is knowing that in the end all that matters is that I have fun, right?