You’re Just Plain Nasty

Today is the anniversary of the day you did something particularly disgusting and no one ever found out about it. That’s right; on this very day you bit your toenails, picked a scab and ate it, or smelled your finger after scratching somewhere particularly pungent. You might not want too admit it; even as you read this article you’re saying to yourself “That’s disgusting, who is this weirdo fascist busting in and telling me what I have done and when? I’ve never smelled my finger after scratching somewhere particularly pungent!” But a faint, buried, muffled voice is whispering “Liar!”. You know that you’ve done these things and grosser in your time whether you admit it or not. As biological life forms we produce a number of waste and by-products many of which are both disgusting to smell and see (a result of instinctual avoidance of waste as it is no longer useful). Vying with instinct though, is our natural curiosity as we are conscious beings striving to understand our world more fully. Therefore in your search to understand your world more fully in your private time you looked at your anus in the mirror, flicked a booger at someone, or ate something off the floor following the five-minute-rule rather than the five second rule.More than likely, at least one of you my disgusting, disgusted readers did it today and the rest of you have done these things and more thousands of times over (though on different days), and though you may have gotten away with it , and you may not (nay do not) even remember the specific experience, just realize everyone else knows that you did it. Because we’re all watching you.