I Facebooked Your Mom Last Night

What was born on February 4th 2004, knows everything about you, and has pictures of what you were really doing when you told your parents you were just gonna “hang out” at a friends house? The answer is Facebook.

Created by Mark Zuckerberg just under two years ago, Facebook has become one of the biggest trends to hit the college scene since fake ID’s.

When AOL first came out, screen name profiles became a storage container of favorite quotes and witty posted in hopes that they made the screen name holder seem like a more interesting person.

Then came personal web pages, which, in essence, would just be a much bigger profile -another attempt at entering the middle school social scene with a bang. Now that there are sites like Facebook and its rival, MySpace, the technology involved with middle school, high school and college social scenes has turned into an addiction.

Facebook profiles include personal information like your major, high school, what you are looking for in a significant other, political views and favorite…anything. It also contains links to pictures of you and even a link to pictures of your significant other.

This feature is especially helpful for ex-girlfriend and boyfriend stalkers hoping to compare themselves to your newest love interest. The overly-smart website even tells you when anyone that you know is having a birthday. Because, let’s face it, we’re lucky if we can remember Jesus birthday (it’s Christmas, by the way).

It also lets you know how many people you are connected to through the site. Usually the number of people you are connected to is the equivalent of giving a speech to a full house at Ira Allen Chapel and the CC Theatre combined.

Facebook has become a must-have for UVM students.

It’s right up there on the list of necessities, in between the microwave and the numbers of restaurants that deliver at 2 a.m. Even walking around fraternity parties on campus, one is likely to hear the pick-up line, “Aren’t I friends with you on Facebook?”

For first-year students at UVM, Facebook is an easy way to clear first-day-of-class jitters, thanks to the profile spot where you can list your classes. This feature helps students, especially Freshmen, make friends before they get to class so they don’t feel alone and out of place.

According to Chris Hughes, the wonderful spokesperson of Facebook, the website is ranked 7th in terms of trafficking for the entire web. That’s one spot behind Google!, which has 12.4 million users across the nation who log onto the site at least once a month, with 67% logging on every day.

It’s not hard to believe that Facebook gets a startling 300 million page views in any given 24-hour period, each member spending an average 18 minutes on the site. I’m sure all of UVM joins me in thanking Facebook for creating a procrastination technique all its own.

In addition to the advantages Facebook offers, there are a few down sides. Since college students such as ourselves use Facebook as a personal calling card and a way to let our friends know how much fun we’re having in college, some of the stuff on our profiles wouldn’t be beneficial to our parents’ eyes.