Cynical Opinions: Mini rants from our writers


Noah Centineo isn’t as cute as you think:


In a world where twenty-something male celebrities with a pretty face and curly hair are king, Netflix’s rom-com sweetheart Noah Centineo should be top of the royal court, right? Wrong.

Unless you like fake-deep, pretentious hipsters with a surprising backlog of frighteningly cringey private Snapchat videos, who can’t seem to land a role for a character their own age, Centineo is not for you.

The only drama I enjoyed him in was his attempt to describe the fleetingness of youth in 180 characters or less, and the only romance he performed well in was his Snapchat from a grocery store cash register line.

-Sophie Oehler

Subtitles are actually super helpful:


The first thing I do when putting a movie on is click the little subtitle box on the corner of my screen.

Watching Netflix while having subtitles on is better than without.

As someone with hearing aids, they’re super helpful.

I can pay much more attention to what I’m watching when they’re on. They make everything more engaging and clear. Subtitles take away the annoying, “what did they say?” when characters whisper or mumble, which I struggle with.

They also give us the opportunity to watch foreign media. Stop worrying about how they’ll look on your screen and give subtitles a try.

-Gabby Felitto

Ordering from Amazon is not prime:

Amazon is a quasi-monopoly that keeps entering my life no matter how hard I try to get rid of it.

Every holiday, I inevitably get a gift card for the website. It’s money to buy things from a sea of endless products.

While I know it is irrational to feel guilty over online shopping with money that is not my own, I know every dollar spent at Amazon is harmful.

A group of Amazon workers stood outside Amazon Founder Jeff Bezos’s $80 million apartment to protest working conditions in the warehouse, according to a Dec. 2 Business Insider article.

I do not want to support a company that puts their workers at risk, yet I do when I use their gift cards.

As long as I am not directly contributing to Bezos’s wallet, it should be okay.