Heady’ is Stayin’ Sucka Free

Heady. Or Headie. However the hell you want to spell it – it doesn’t matter, because this word needs to be set straight once and for all.

Honestly, this word gets more abuse at this university than I used to on those Sundays when the old man had a fifth of scotch in his belly and the Giants dropped another three straight under Ray Handley. It’s getting out of hand.

Short cuts are heady. Concert tickets are heady. For Christ’s sake, water bottles are heady. But the thing that really chaps my ass about this word is how many different people are given this label.

It all starts with the dread-heads that automatically get thrown into this category of “heady” – which is complete bollocks. First off, I’m going to give recognition to the people who wear their dreadlocks with purpose; people who look at it as kind of a fu*# you to the old man. But the majority of the people we all know that rock dreadies are from Jersey or Connecticut, and their existence lies solely in mommies American Express Card. “I got my new SUV with the heady “DNK U TRE” plates on, so lets go on tour with the mobile card I got in my stocking.”

Hogwash… you don’t know who Leo Kotke is, so don’t go buying a ticket with your parents’ plastic just because it’s possible Gordon might come out for the encore. These people fall under the category of Wookies, plain and simple.

Another congregation that has also mistakenly received this brand are those spun-case skaters whose niche in the world is pill consumption on “Biscuit” tour. These seratonin-deprived junkies with their “Billabong” hats pulled over their pale, sleep-deprived eyes have polluted the ever-growing Phish scene as well. For Christ’s sake, you can’t even attempt to have a few beers or perhaps enjoy a mild psychedelic excursion without some gangly, spooked-out kid itching his face and crooning “Doses,” or “Rolls.” They don’t care about the music; they just want to make a buck and fist drugs.

These are Rat-bags, plain and simple.

If the word “heady” is going to be used to describe a people, then it must be specific. This is a word that needs to be held high and respected. Something that is worn with pride. Let’s create the profile.

Heady is stomaching everybody.

Heady is going over to the Adirondacks in early January to camp. Heady is bearing the fifth coldest January in Vermont history with a smile on your face.

Heady is drinking a few beers by the lake in February – because you feel you should. Heady is helping out the little guy and not going to Best Buy or Shaw’s to save a buck. Heady is saying hi to passers by. Heady is making your friend get out of the car on I 89 to walk back and pick up the empty King Cobra bottle that he threw out the window. Heady is abandoning the television for conversation and your parents’ old records. Heady is- heady.