How to destroy America from within

With all the focus on the 112th Congress’ internal bickering over the federal budget over whether it is more important to protect the citizens or the corporations that call this country home, it’s been easy to forget to watch out for the shenanigans that our new Republican governors are getting themselves into back home. From the inane to the colossally catastrophic, here are a few of the things that Republican governors have been working on in states across the nation. Gov. Paul LePage, Maine:  Made famous for his petty comments to the NAACP over Martin Luther King Jr. Day, LePage is still working hard to advance a range of misguided policies in Augusta. He opposes bans on the harmful plastic water bottles, believing that the “worst case is some women may have little beards,” from the estrogen the plastic secretes.  He also recently made a large step toward ending violent attacks against one-armed Mainers by loosening a law that banned switchblades to allow the amputees in the state to carry them incase they need to ward off violent attackers and don’t have time to open their Swiss Army knives with their teeth. He made headlines for ordering the removal of a mural from the Department of Labor because it was “pro-labor.” It is through these meaningful leaps forward that Gov. LePage earns his “A” for effort. Gov. Tom Corbett, Pa.:  Through appointing former coal company CEO C. Alan Walker as acting secretary of the Department of Community and Economic Development with the power to impact and expedite the distribution of natural gas drilling permits from the Department of Environmental Protection, Gov. Corbett hopes to empower the working man.  Did I mention that C. Alan Walker donated $184,000 to Corbett’s campaign? Gov. Rick Perry, Texas:  Aside from his controversial proposal to force women to see a sonogram and listen to the fetus’ heartbeat before having an abortion, Gov. Perry believes that states should have the right to exclude themselves from paying into Social Security on behalf of their employees.  Governor Jan Brewer, Ariz.:  When we least heard of Gov. Brewer, we were still debating the hazardous implications of SB1070, a bill that promoted racial profiling as part of an effort to round up all the undocumented immigrants in the border state.  Since then, she has worked to cut the costs of health care under Medicaid by putting an end to coverage for vital organ transplants. She restored funding for these transplants on April 7, 2011 but not before 2 people died as a result.  Gov. Rick Snyder, Mich.:  This one might be my favorite.  Having granted himself the power to declare a town, municipality, school district or utility district in a state of financial emergency, Gov. Snyder granted his administration the authority to choose an emergency manager in charge of the distressed district. A corporation can hold the position.  This manager would have the unilateral power to end any contract, including contracts with unions, remove elected officials and dissolve local governments in the name of combating financial crises less terrifying than the prospect of towns being controlled by an unelected official or corporation.